Do you now take that seriously and believe he wanted to commit to a relationship before you had even met in person? If so, what do you think about that?
I have empathy for the fact that the way men generally operate is that they accumulate a certain amount of experience/money/success and then they decide that they want to settle down. Then they are in a very vulnerable position because they usually "fall in love" with the first reasonably high status/ desirable female that they find. The thing that kind of freaks me out is that most of the men who find me desirable have some specific characteristics in common. For instance, when I was on the plane the other day, the guy I was sitting next to was obviously interested/flirtatious to the extent that a married stranger will express such a thing. I was thinking it was odd because he looked like a skinny WASP and he had just run a marathon (type that wouldn't like me.) Then later in the convo he revealed that he was Italian and he was a contractor who owned his own building company. BINGO!
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On a separate note, you don't seem to really know what you want from a relationship right now and you've gotten involved with men who know *exactly* what they want from a relationship and they take you directly to that place. When you get to that place, you're like, "I like you and I like being with you and I enjoyed the journey here and I like this place but I don't know if it's what I want because I'm not exactly positive what it is that I want."
Very true. I may be wrong but I think this mostly has to do with the fact that I am still weak in my lioness quadrant. Understand that I don't mean to say that I am inherently weak in that quadrant but rather that something has happened like there was a fire and famine on her usual hunting grounds and she has been wandering about without clear direction but knowledge that she better find a new one. Therefore, I get to a certain point in a relationship and I find myself unable to make judgments about men. Simple example would be I couldn't figure out whether the fact that GP was a semi-professional gambler bothered me because I haven't figured out my own financial situation/values post-divorce. It's kind of like you said you came to the realization that you are a relatively messy person whether or not you are in a relationship with a neatnik. When I say that I'm a freak (with pride-lol) I mean that I am my own special kind of HD whether or not I'm in a relationship with somebody LD. FSG is definitely HD. The two of us bickering about who is a freak and who is a complete maniac is just like two drunks bickering about who finished off the case of beer.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
