Finding Supermom - #4

[bhopeful]

Hi Jenny.

I hope that I can offer you some helpful advice, but this is all just my opinion on what has worked for me.

I think I'm DB'ing well enough. I mean, I couldn't be much darker than I am.

DB is so much more than being "dark". My biggest issue with DB is that so many people gravitate directly towards the LRT and forget to do all of the other steps. That being said, I understand why you are being "dark", but don't discount the importance of the other steps. What are your 180s? Have you experimented with different behaviors and monitored the results? Are you doing anything that is working? What are you doing to get a life? Are you able to stay positive daily? Focus your energy on one area of your life until you feel positive change there. Just as change in a relationship takes baby steps, so to does change in yourself. If you try to make too many large over sweeping changes then they most likely won't stick.

But here is where I'm stuck. In prayer.

God hears your prayers Jenny. I know that He does. Some of the things that you are praying for He can't give you though. Not because He isn't all powerful/knowing/loving, but because He has given us the gift of free will. We are our own beings created in his image to choose and do as we please. When I first started this journey that I'm on, I prayed for many of the same things as you. I came to realize though that my prayers weren't going to bring my W home. So I changed what I was praying for. I prayed that God would give me the strength to keep a positive attitude and do positive things. Not to let me get bogged down by negative emotions and actions. I prayed that He bring peace to my W's discontented heart and that she feel both mine and His love for her. I prayed for the Lord to show my heart how to have unconditional love and through His Grace let it be known to her.

I started praying these things because I truly want her to be happy, no matter what that means for me. Even if it means that I get no love from her in return.

Where is all this prayer getting me?

They will bring you into a closer relationship with God through which all things are possible. They will bring you peace in your darkest hour. That is if you truly believe what you are praying for and Who you are praying to.

How do I feel God talking me?

God speaks to us through many varied means. You can find his voice in scripture, in other people, or even just in your surroundings. It's not always immediately apparent when He speaks to us, so don't expect a knock on the head (although that can happen too).

Peace in your heart, mind, and life is my prayer for you Jenny.

B