Loving a WAS isn't easy

[mymonkeybug]

In the last couple of months I have learned that my love for my W is deeper and stronger than I ever could have imagined. God has show me that. He has also shown me that I am stronger than I ever believed I could be. I know that I have many more challenges to overcome and I am sure you do as well.

This quote from your post says it all. Isn't it amazing how much we realize how deep and strong the love for the WAS is once they leave? I too have learned the same as you. And I also agree that the strength God has shown us we are capable of is truly amazing as well.

I will let you know how Mort's stuff goes. I so believe there are openings all the time with my H but don't pursue them because I don't want to push him the other way. I have had friends and neighbors and even a super casual acquantance(sp)make mention that I look great and that I seem so much more mellow and more pleasant. I attirbute that all to the canges I have been making in me. You see before H left I was, I hate to admit it, very judgemental of people and quite snotty. Those 2 traits are long gone. I can only hope H is noticeing those things too.

These 2 kids need daddy back as much as I do. This single parent stuff is the pits. I applaud all who do it and struggle with it daily.

H is taking D5 today for some alone time with her as he has done that with S8 a couple times already. S8 has been asking me for some alone time so he and I are going to go out to lunch and to a movie then grocery shopping. The 3 of us will be having dinner with a neighbor tonight then daddy will be over tomorrow to spend his Sunday with the kids while I work in the morning for a couple hours. The last 2 Sundays I have gotten home and made a HUGE breakfast like I used to do every Sunday before he left and he lit up at those 2 breakfasts. All those little things I notice in him just make me realize God is working on his heart. At the same time though I worry that he may get too comfortable with this ease of living and coming and going that he will think it's OK to stay away since I am not making life difficult for him or causing problems. Bob Steinkamp's one book says that is not the case but I still worry. I know that what I am doing is making myself and his family life a better choice than whatever this so called new happier life is.