And the Survey Says....

[JennyF]

Hello all,
I am the mystery lady in question here!
First of all, thanks to IC for thinking of me an putting this question out there.

I have a 3 yr old and 4 month old, the bomb came 6 weeks before I gave birth. The pregnancy was planned, albeit a month AFTER the affair started. H had shown some minor signs of resistance to another child (he said it was about timing, not because he wanted out of our M), but I was ovulating and he knew it...so you get the picture. The PA started Jan 2007, I'm thinking it was AT LEAST an EA for many months before that.
He says he is in love. He says they're making plans for the future, hence him pushing fast to sell the house and all that stuff.
Here's the good part, she's 40 (10 yrs older than him), twice divorced, with 3 kids from those marriages. The second divorce was just finalized sometime late in 2007. Is she a man eater?? Possibly...and I think my H is prime right now to be taken for a ride.
H has followed all of the MLC script to a tee thus far (he is only 29, but the 'transitional crisis' fits him perfectly...it's eerie actually).
H did some waivering early on after bomb and showed a lot signs of confusion over the time pre-bomb (conversations with friends, etc). Then suddenly 3 weeks before I gave birth he went full steam ahead with the IT'S OVER and hasn't looked back.
MLC tunnel for sure.

He is giving me NO signs that there is any connection left between us. But, I know him well enough to know that I don't think he is totally comfortable with his decisions. I think he has ulcers or some other kind of related stomach stuff.
BUT, I think it is still early enough in this that he thinks I am the problem and that he will be happier to be in his new life with CFB (aka OW...this is why IC calls me the foul mouthed Canuck!).
We had a relatively good marriage. Every day problems as we all do (that's a loaded statement I'm sure). But he NEVER brought up his discontent with me. When I was 3 months preggo I noticed changes in him and approached him. He said his feelings were changing and he wasn't sure any more, but I THOUGHT we were working on things.

ANYWAY....As RedHeadedWife said...

Is the WAS truly not in love w/ their spouse anymore or have they just been sucked into the honeymoon of an affair.

This is the million dollar question!!
How do you walk out on a newborn and a 3 year old without even trying? It doesn't make sense.
OH...his Dad did something similar although when the kids were adults. Let me know if anyone is interested in those details.

Thank you so much to everyone who has posted. I have to go tend to the kids, but I will come back and reply to your posts later today.
Thanks again...and thanks IC...I said it before and I'll say it again, YOU ROCK!
J~