Mako, I feel for you and have similar situation. My H is bipolar with schizophrenic traits and self medicates his mood swings with prescription pain killers or crack cocaine. He's been running from an active arrest warrant for several months and 4 times now, I've received his desperate "I'm gonna die out here" 3am phone calls begging to let him come spend one night with me so he can turn himself in to the mental health unit at the jail with knowing I forgive him and won't abandon him. 4 times, I've picked him up the streets, reassured him of my love by letting him stay overnight and the next day (or while I'm sleeping) he bolts out the door back to the streets. When it happened again this morning, after I reiterated the consequences of another failure to keep his promise, I changed my numbers and locked the door. He had taken off while I was in the bathroom and called back to leave a message that he's just out getting some money from a friend to get his ring out of pawn, but I felt I had to show him even if his intentions were good, that deceptive behavior would not be tolerated at all. So now, of course I'm stuck in the "What if's..." of my decision to cut off his means of contacting me to protect my sanity and enforce consequences for his deceptive actions. I'm heartbroken after years of showing him total forgiveness each time he sobered up and restarted his bipolar medications. Worse than heartbroken I'm scared that I may never see him again and in Florida a wife cannot transact any credit or real estate transactions without signature from the husband even when he's never worked and mentally unstable. I lost my job last month due to extended sick leave as I acquired fibromyalgia and am unable to work any longer. As the sole bread winner, that means there is no income now and I just received a notice that I cannot withdraw from my 401K to get money to live on while I await disability insurance appeal of 6-9 months as any withdrawal from an employer sponsored 401K here requires husband's consent. Same with selling my home, purchased before the marriage and paid for by me, as husband's signature required. I feel like the laws here in Florida are forcing me to divorce him, but I love him unconditionally, just cannot live with the lies, theft and drug abuse. So, all this was to let you know, you are not alone in continuing to love someone who is ill and addicted.
