This sounds very similar to my situation. 20 years in marriage; I can count on one hand the number of times we've had sex in the past 5 years. I read somewhere that the average American couple has sex 94 times a year. I haven't had that in 20 years! She just announced one day that she was pretty much finished with sex, and that was that. I've tried talking with her about it, but she's not interested. I've been completely faithful to her, and attentive. I haven't been perfect, but I have always taken ownership for things that I've said or done that caused hurt. By contrast, I can, again, count on one hand the number of times she's ever apologized for things that she's said and done that have hurt our relationship. I find myself thinking about the other good women I have known in my life who really, truly loved me; and I passed over them for this! I love my two kids deeply and the thought of doing anything that would scar them (divorce, cheat), is unbearable. But I think of this complete shut down and refusal to communicate as a form of infidelity. We took a vow of fidelity, and I believe that means that we promised to be available to one another as well as faithful. That was a vow we took. I would be a lot more understanding if I felt like she gave a flip; but I don't think she cares.
