I have not read your whole story but will when I have time.
My W has had 2 A's that I know of the first 9 yrs ago and you are right about the OP making a comeback.
I noted this comment
Quote:
what i've found most difficult about this is what it's done to my self esteem. i think about her often as we live in the same town. i worry. i am a very attractive woman, however, this has left me feeling inadequate and self-concious, like i can easily be replaced.
I take it your H came back to you. That shows that you cant be easily replaced and that you can be confident in yourself. Take the attitude that your H is lucky to have you .
OF- i am unsure of how to deal with this imbalance. i've started by making a clear list in my mind of what is definately not acceptable behavior. most of the stuff you can let go, when this is not the case, i take a stand with no room for discussion.
Seems a prudent course of action (time will tell, I suppose). Happy holidays and I hope you and your H are doing well together.
update for everyone; hope you all had holidays full of hope and support! things have been going very well for my family, H and i are ticking along nicely with few hiccups lately.
i do have big news; i'm pregnant. this was a suprise for H and I, and when i found out, was farther along than i guessed. i'm actually in my 4th month now.
at first i was in denial; it's all been a bit much: M on the mend, new job, H in grad school, myself just starting a new job. i have learned through this process, however, that you truly are never given more than you can handle and that situations and circumstances are handed to you for a reason. i am looking at life right now as a total blessing. many times over the holidays i became very emotional thinking of how i spent last christmas; sobbing, pleading with my husband to take me back. watching him drive away to go be with OW. and the christmas before, separated, not being able to look each other in the eye. and all of the miserable times in between. what a miserable chainof events.
i know people are thinking that a baby is going to complicate things for us and no doubt it will not make things easier, but i've learned to take things one day at a time. my true hope and prayer is that my M will continue to move with the positive momentum of late, however, i am realistic in knowing that i can only control myself and the choices i make (OF, can you hear how far i've come no matter what happens, i'll be just fine.
for those of you that are hurting tonight, my thoughts are with you. know that your pain is felt here on these boards by hundreds of other people. it WILL get better. i can't promise what "better" will consist of, but i promise it will get better.
things have been going very well for my family, H and i are ticking along nicely with few hiccups lately.
Hooray!! I am so glad to hear things are going well for you.
Originally Posted By: kikisum
i do have big news; i'm pregnant.
Somehow, the only word that comes to my mind is "Wow". I pray the joy of a newborn brings the two of you closer.
Originally Posted By: kikisum
OF, can you hear how far i've come
Yep. I'm loath to borrow from a cigarette company, but you've come a long way, baby. Words fail to adequately express my hope that the two of you are one of the all-too-rare success stories. Thanks for the update.
As for me, it's all over but the signing. I'll update my thread soon, but just not in the mood to rehash the ugliness of it all right now.
Update- things are going very well - i am actually due to deliver our second child, a little girl, any day now. i don't want to be misleading and say that things have been easy, they haven't been. it's been hard to regain trust and to learn to live together again. my biggest lesson has been to learn to let go of the little things. we've both had to lighten up, and we are happier people for it. i give my H the benefit of the doubt, and just assume he is not being malicious when he says or does something that rubs me the wrong way. i also have an appreciation for the preciousness of what we have. the fact that my husband is sleeping next to me every night is worth more that i can even express. with anything, when you've almost lost it, you tend to appreciate it and keep it closer to your heart than ever before. i am so thankful that we didn't quit. so thankful that i didn't give up. those of you that know my story know what a long road i traveled. it was a worthwhile journey indeed.
i also have an appreciation for the preciousness of what we have. the fact that my husband is sleeping next to me every night is worth more that i can even express. with anything, when you've almost lost it, you tend to appreciate it and keep it closer to your heart than ever before. i am so thankful that we didn't quit. so thankful that i didn't give up. those of you that know my story know what a long road i traveled. it was a worthwhile journey indeed.
Kiki, I understand completely what you mean. I treasure every moment with my W now, and I will never again take my eye off the ball.
Nice work, cherish it.
Me: 54 Her: 50 and sexy as hell M: 32yrs T: 34yrs Bomb: Sept 26-07 "lost our emotional connection" Bomb 2: Dec 25-07 she's "not feeling desire" She asked if she could come home Apr 26-08! Everything's GREAT!
no matter what happens, i'll be just fine. 
I am so glad to hear things are going well for you.