Okie dokie, where was I? I'm a little doped up on sinus/allergy cold medicine right now, so hopefully this post is lucid.

I called SIL today in the hopes that maybe she knew something about H and OW's sitch and would be willing to talk to me. She and I used to talk all the time before this all happened. Always called her my little sis. But when everything went bad with H and me, I began to distance myself from his family. Not sure why I did that exactly. My in-laws were/are good people and always hoped H and I would get back together. They always let me know that no matter what happened, they would always welcome me.

Anyway, I called SIL and said that I really didn't want to get her involved in anything she didn't want, and I realized that she had her own issues to deal with at this time, but I really needed someone to talk to. SIL said it was no problem, I could talk to her anytime.

I asked her if she knew that H and I were trying to reconcile? She said yes. Then I asked if she perhaps had any idea if OW knew this as well. SIL said she did not know about that, but she did know for a fact that H had told OW that he didn't want to see her again. SIL said that she tries not to get involved with that whole thing (H and OW). Told her I completely understood. Then I asked if there was any time at all that she might have overheard OW talking to H, or if OW had even mentioned that she was talking with him still, or if she just knew about them talking or seeing each other at all after H telling OW it was over. SIL said H did mention to her that OW had been trying to call him, but he said he never called her back. She said as far as she knew, they hadn't been talking or seeing one another anymore.

I then told SIL about H admitting that he talked with OW, and I suspected that there might be more to it. I felt that H was only telling me what he wanted me to know. I said I thought maybe SIL knew something and might tell me. I reminded her that I didn't want to put her in a difficult spot, but that I just needed.....and SIL finished, "Closure. I totally understand."

I thanked her and said that it sounds like H did tell OW it was over just as he told me he did, but that this now worried me a little more. SIL said, "Right. Because then why is (OW) still calling him. She shouldn't be. Really, I wish he never started dating her to begin with."

Wondered what SIL meant and why, but I didn't ask. Now I wish I had.

Anyway, we talked some more, and before saying goodbye, SIL said, "Well I'll fish around a little and see what I can find out. I won't make it obvious." I said that wasn't necessary, I just wanted to talk about this. She said no problem again and she still might do it. I said ok, but at this point, it was no big deal.

I felt more at ease after that talk with SIL. I'm starting to think that maybe H was being (somewhat) truthful with me.

But now, it seems to me that OW could be a problem, should H decide to move back home, and especially if OW ends up moving in with SIL.

Like I said in one of my previous posts, it's not my place to tell SIL who can or can't room with her.

I know I'm probably getting way ahead of myself here, but right now I can't help it.

There will be times when H would want to go to his sister's to visit. There will be bbqs, birthday parties for niece, etc. What happens if OW is there? How do I handle that? How do I get through it?

And if H does come back, and OW is still calling him, what do I do? If he asks me again if I want him to change his number, do I say yes? But that could be another control issue for H.

Or do I have to stand my ground again and get angry with OW and call her like I had to with OW1?


Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell