I'm with Drew. As the father and husband, domestic court is not where you want this to go. Most Men that I know who are faced with that prospect file bankruptcy. The courts will practically push you in that direction anyway. If you can settle outside of court, do it. Give her a decent and fair offer that you can both live with. If that doesn't persuade her, then fight like hell and make it as expensive and emotionally draining on her as possible. It's not going to affect your ability to reconcile one way or the other in the long run.
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare." -Mark Twain
