it's a long long road......

[cat03]

hey vc, unload all you want hon, unload 'til you feel better.

Well, seeing that just recently I jumped to conclusions and screwed up majorly I'd go for the simple truth "H, I found this receipt and I was wondering what the heart pendant was about since I didn't get it". Short and to the point, same for the phone, it's just enerving to be sitting there wondering 1000 posibilities "H, I believe you still have that secret cell and it is still active, I want us to be honest with each other and I want to trust you, do you still have it?".

I know very little men who worry about decorations, i'm frankly surprised the other moms had decorations on their doors, I dont' remember seing any when I gave birth twice on others doors. At the danger of playing devil's advocate I'm tempted to say he didn't mean to make you feel left out. And the thing about the flowers reminds me of one day when my H and i were newlyweds, a few weeks perhaps, our appartment was a mess and H said "this is unaceptable, what a mess" and I thought it hilarous since his room at his moms was a total pigsty so I mimiked him in a silly voice what he had just said... it was the first and last time ever he cared about messes, he never again attempted to show interest if the place was messy or not. And flowers shouldn't fall appart one day after delivery, but perhaps (dont hit me) it sounded ungrateful that you complained about it, he took it as a personal failure that he couldnt' please you even though you were mad at the florist not at him.

Funny you said your H hold grudges, I never believed mine did as well (only during these past 2yrs he brought up stuff that I did eons ago that hurt him) because the things my H remembers I don't, and there are quite a few things I remember that he doesn't, so perhaps whatever he is holding a grudge about doesn't seem rational to you because it wouldnt' hurt *you* but it hurt him.

he didn't think he had EVER done anything wrong in our marriage, but all the wrong was done to him, by me

and I'm Cleopatra...

Hugs hon)))) good luck with bringing up that stuff to your H, remain calm and keep the tone of your voice even when you do.