Time for truth and honesty for a new beginning

[phbear316]

Just wanted to quick update everyone. I had a nice dinner with my friend, We talked about work, and other things. He did ask me what my next move was, I said I guess i have to contact a lawyer just so i can protect myself for I have a feeling that h is just going to leave, and leave me with the house and bills. Which i cannot afford on my own. I discussed with my boss about maryland, he was like hey just remember h is not stopping you from going, you can go you just may run into him with her. My reply to him was i don't care. I am more hurt i will not see people i know, etc.
He was like well let me see as of now he did not have a room, he was thinking that all that are left now are suites, maybe a few of us could share. I had no problem with it as long as the had no problem sharing with a girl. he is going to keep me in the loop for decisions.

Its almost 11 and he is not home, i did come home to find something very interesting no note mind you, but he took down my valentines day light and lighted heart, and put up the st. Patricks day ones. HUMMM, GUILT? GUILT? GUILT. Trying to make yourself feel better for having to listen to me cry myself to sleep last night. I realized at some point today, that i know i was loud, for i have not cried like that since Sept when he told me about the affair.

I was going to either leave his v-day card unsigned on the table with a note saying this was to be your card, senario 2 was sign it and leave it anyway with a note that this was your cards, or i was going to throw them out in such a way he would see them in the garbage right on top. I think I will just go the #3 in the garbage any old way. they will be thrown out, trust me.

Well, i am off to bed i am exhausted physically and emotionally, and i have to shut this meowing cat up. She knows i am upset and all she wants to do is snuggle with me so she is meowing and meowing. So its time to finish my wine, and off to bed.

hugs all
bear