Marcum, be really careful in comparing our situations! I think you W is acting very MLC like. The good thing about that is that it means things are always changing, and they often do come out of it, if you can take care of yourself in the meantime. If I'm remembering right it hasn't been all that long, this has been at least three years, and really a lot more than that!
(((((palgal)))))(((((new_attitude))))) I think I am as ready as I can be. In a lot of ways I don't think we are really married now, so emotionally "shouldn't" be a huge problem. That's easy to say now, I'm sure it will be worse than I expect! Physically, who knows? Financially, well, it cold be hard. I think I could refinance the house, and get enough out of it to make things work, though I would have to sell it when the market improves, most likely. Or, we could sell it now, and we could be fine. Things will be worse than they are now, of course, but mabe not by as much as it seems.
I'm no sure this is DBing, but I am not sure it is not. Not having R talks, or pushing anything, giving her space, hasn't gotten anywhere for two or three years, not even a single baby step that I can see. So, this is doing something different. If any of you have another idea, please throw it out there!
What do I want? You know, I argue with myself on that. Part of me says I'd me perfectly content if she said she has no interest in working on this. Then it just turns into a series of difficult, but solvable problems. If it wasn't for the kids, I don't think I'd even think twice. But, mostly because of the kids, I would like her to want to try. As far was what that means, I want to give her the chance to define it, because that' the only way she will follow up on it. So, assuming she comes up with a plan I can live with, which has to include MC, and I think IC for her, I will give her a chance to live up to it. If she chooses not to, then we are back to separating.
New_attitude, the cake was awesome! I'm sorry that yesterday was such a down day for everyone!
Check in later (not today later, just later) as I'm sure there will be more meat on the bones of this plan. And please, throw out any ideas you might have!
