Well, as I said in our previous episode, the time is nearing to shake things up. I think after two years, what I am doing isn't working so much. So, I am going to let her tell me whether she wants to do anything towards saving this "marriage". But, as I said, I'll be waiting until after March 4th, because S19 is coming to visit before his deployment to Africa.
In other news, I got W an "Edible Arrangement" for Valentines Day/our Anniversary (the 16th). I gave it to her last night (13th) because she is working today, Friday, and Saturday, 7a-7p, so really wouldn't appreciate it then. She really seemed to like it, so that was good. But, after thinking about it, I don't think she ever actually said thank you. I am sure she never said "Happy Valentines Day". When I gave it to her last night one of the kids asked her if she got me anything, she quickly reminded him that it was late and he had XYZ to do before bed. So, I think that answered that question. Today she came home with a PS-2 Quiz game for the kids, that I will play with them, so that counted as her gift to me. No real surprise, when you get down to it.
Yesterday morning was fun, too. She had to leave at about 7 to go to a staff meeting, so I got the kids up, but she was still here. I went into their room and turned their closet lights on, which I usually do on the first trip, and then the overhead on the next. But this time, I turned an overhead on then, as well. On my second trip, I found W in there, no problem. She said, don't turn their closet lights on. I said ok. Then she lectured me on the wasted of money, electricity, and environmental impact of having those two compact fluorescent bulbs on for a half hour or maybe forty five minutes. I am sure I rolled my eyes and shook my head, as I walked away. Ooops! So she said, why can't we discuss this, I said you made your point. She said I never acknowledged that she was right. I didn't realize it right then, I should have said "the reason there isn't any point in discussing anything with you is that he only acceptable end is me telling you that you are right!" It is really true, the more I think about it, there is her way, and the wrong way. There is something wrong with that picture! Anyway, the whole point of this rant, is that if she wants to work on the marriage, there is going to need to be MC, and IC, and a lot of it! I hope I still really want this!
But the cat is sleeping next to me, and I don't have to work tomorrow, so for now, it's all good!
Thanks! The room is about half and half, I am working on some restoration today! Her's is getting messier, though! Interesting, that.
I am pretty discouraged, but, I have been trying to act as if a bit more in the past few days. Hopefully I'll start to believe it! I feel good about actually getting ready to do something, though, this rut has gone on too long. Even bad news would be news, and I might get to continue a life.
The Africa adventure is scary, probably more for the parents than the son! But it should be fine.
Oh, a story. A couple nights ago W asked S18 if he wanted to earn some money (he is planning to go with some friends to Europe this summer). He cautiously said, yes? She said being a model for an art class. He said "what's the catch?" She said "nude". He said "how much?" She said "It's the class grandmother is taking". He said "NO!" She said "she changed your diapers". He said "NO". I don't think the pay scale came up after that!
I'm so sorry about the discouragement, but glad to hear that a change is in the air. Change is good, especially when something isn't working right now.
How are the boys doing? Still muddling along in the snow? :-)))
What's the plan? Well, after S19 has come and gone, I think I will tell her that it is obvious the marriage isn't working, and ask her if she wants to do anything about it. I am still trying to figure just how to do that. Depending on what she says, we go from there.
I'm ready for any answer. In some ways a negative answer would be easier. It is going to be hard to make a marriage out of this mess, in some ways (not all) it would be easier to start over. or even just not.
I hear ya. I ask ny wife if ahe wants things to work but even when she says yes she does EVERYTHING in her power to make this a one way effort...mine. she leaves our dates early to go with friends and she is moving out on sunday.
