Ok so yesterday, at what was supposed to be a pleasant Valentine's Day dinner, I finally had to say, in a calm tone, that I simply cannot live this way any longer. I told her if she wants to work on this marriage then I am in but if she does not, that is fine too, we can part ways. She was not pleased, defended herself, did a quick summary of her list of hurts going back years and then we left the restaurant. Recall that she has not slept in our bed in about three years. So I wake up in the middle of the night and she is not on the couch in our room where she usually sleeps. To my amazement as I look across the room she is sleeping on our bed, not under the covers and pretty close to the edge, but still in our bed. So I thank you all for the advice because it led directly to my standing up to her and saying enough is enough. I am not sure where it goes from here but I take it as a sign of my own progress that her returning to our bed was not nearly as significant and my being honest, direct and authentic with her at dinner. I take that as good news because the former is outside my control and the latter is entirely within my control.
