Hanging in there....

[Sugar and Spice]

Time for an update....
Well my H showed up the day before Valentine's Day and gave us our cards and my D6 each a wood carved rose. He kept telling us that only hig "girls" got one of those and I just wanted to puke! We gave him his stuff and then he left...so shocked.

I get a phone call at 12:30am and He tells me, "Happy Valentine's Day" and then launches into telling me how he lost $1,600.00 at the card room and how he is a gambling addict and he needs to go to rehab, et... Then he starts in about OW and how they aren't good for each other (she likes to gamble too, I'm pretty sure thats how they met) and that he thinks he will be coming home soon, blah, blah, blah. I have learned that the light of day changes everything and in this case it is no different.

Valentine's Day he calls while I'm on my way to IC and tells me that he doesn't think he will be over that night, like its going to come as some big shock to me...you have a girlfriend! I told him that I didn't expect him to as I'm sure he had other obligations and he acted like he had no idea what I was talking about, moron. I told him not everyone thought Valentine's Day was "just another day" and that I would have my S12 at practice.

He called us on our way to practice and told me he was leaving the card room and to call him and let him know how practice went. So stupid me does and he ignores my calls and the text I sent. I told him not to ask us to call if he had no intention of answering. He didn't call the kids to say goodnight (a pattern he developed when he worked out of town and has done faithfully for the last 4 years).

My kids were upset that he couldn't even call them on Valentine's Day and went to bed (bedtime 9pm). So I lost it and left him a voicemail that was rather ugly and sent him a text saying that it would be his last opportunity to disappoint the kids. He finally calls at 9:20 and can't understand why the kids are asleep,we argue and I hang up on him. He calls back and ends up hanging up on me...childish, I know. Then he sends me a text trying to say he was at work and didn't have a signal to call us, and then ended up at the card room.

I'm finding it very hard to maintain my cool right now. If he wants to hurt me thats fine, but don't hurt the kids, they don't deserve it. I also asked him to keep them next Friday night as I have to work on Saturday and he can't even commit to that. He wants to just show up Sat. morning before I go. I have to leave at 6:30am and I can't trust that he will be there and when I told him that, he just went ballistic.

I don't know what to do...