Thanks, everyone. I've feeling pretty discouraged and it really meant a lot to get those Vday wishes. I've been checking on your threads and trying to catch up after a few busy days.
na, H did give up the apartment - not by saying he was going to, but by just not moving out. In a way, I feel more in limbo now than in December. There hasn't been any stated recommitment to the M. At any minute, he could say that he's leaving, so that is still hanging over my head.
Nothing for Vday. I wasn't expecting anything and didn't even mention it to him.
Di said on another thread that trying to connect with her H was a better choice in her situation and I think that's true for us in a lot of ways, too, but I'm finding it difficult, because I have no idea where the line is. He is still struggling, still gets that look on his face every once in a while, and so I am still trying to be very careful about anything that might be interpreted as pursuing.
He sent me an email yesterday - a bunch of pictures of mad cats being forced to have baths. A very strange thing for him to send (I'm thinking it was probably meant for the kids) and even to have in the first place. I'm thinking it's from a woman, but he deleted all that information. Nice thing to get on Vday, an email that another woman sent to your H.
We were friendly yesterday, but didn't spend a lot of time together in the evening (he was watching hockey with my S and I went to bed early, still recovering from a very long day on Wednesday, flying to and back from Vancouver for meetings).
This morning he was still in bed when I left with the kids (he often sleeps in on Fridays, since it's my day to drive). I was out all morning. He called me on my cell, but I didn't answer.
I'm having one of those 'don't think I can do this' days. I can't ask where that email came from, I can't talk about how difficult I'm finding it not knowing where we stand, I just have to keep everything inside and keep moving, doing all the stuff that must be done. Makes such a huge difference to have a place to vent a bit - thanks for listening.
