H with MLC

[2ndnoah]

Soonerlady,
L advice....make sure in your D papers that you have them put "Lifestyle use to and custom to". Also, most L will give you the 1st consult visit for free. Also, calling them for the 1st time is free. Remember H social security, retirement, investments, etc. Also, whatever you are cashing in....unless you really need the money, DON'T, DON'T, DON'T. You may get all of it....but if he can talk you into liquidating it, that's more money for H and OW.

Do not ask your H for anything. They look at this as persuing them and that will push them farther away. It is sad to say....but you and your S are H pain in the butt. You represent RESPONSIBILITY!!!! BALL AND CHAIN!!!! OW is exciting, adventurous, no responsibility. Your H is on vacation, he is FREE right now and hate to say this...but he LOVES it and loves this feeling. It's also a freeing of being BAD. Guys love that feeling. DO not ask him to fix anyting. Do not ask him if he is going to spend time with S. Do not ask him about finances. Do not ask him about the M, D or R with you, them, or OW. DETACH DETACH DETACH!!!!Treat him as a sales person or a parent of your S friend that you just met. Also, do not invite him to eat with you if you are cooking supper. And do not let him take a shower at your house. Let him know he is only a quest because of S. Think about it....would he let you take a shower at OW or his place? Would they invite you to stay for dinner?

If he brings up D or finances or M, or R....tell him you are not feeling very well and you will have to get back with him another time. Do not commit to a day or time. If he tells you to fax something, tell him it is not working or you were too busy to get to it. This takes the control out of his hands and brings things under your control.

Learn from my mistakes. I did all of the above. My H has been gone 5 months. He is the same today as he was the first day he left. He has never looked back. I take blame in that. I let emotions get in the way the few times I saw him. Now, he has cut all relationships with all of us. He has not contact with S or me.

I hate this. I want him back and love him with all my heart. My heart is so torn. H is so cold and distant. After 31 years how do you do that??? Now, all he wants is a D and the sooner the better. I have postponed it with one excuse after another. I know my rope is running out.