Hear hear! I'm with Kimmie. but there isn't a thing we can do about it! Pushing only makes it worse. You have to back off and do your own thing.
I agree in that "pushing only makes it worse" and with "do(ing) your own thing".
Everyone has boundaries, and those boundaries greatly vary. Some DBers are content with leaving the A alone (for the time being) while other DBers just won't have it. Personally, I fall into the latter, and that's just me. Every sitch is different. Kikidee, YOU know YOUR sitch better than anyone else.
What are YOUR boundaries? What are you ok with and what are you not ok with?
If you want to stick it out in the hopes that the A comes to an end on its own, then you go for it, and focus on the changes YOU need to make in your life. Focus on becoming a better you.
If you are not ok with the ongoing A, then you must CALMLY discuss it with your H. Tell him how it hurts you, that you are not ok with it, and that it's a dealbreaker for you. Don't expect him to give you an immediate decision (they rarely happen), but do set a timeline for yourself, and you MUST stick to it. If you don't, your H won't take you very seriously next time.
Remind your H that you are not, in any way, trying to control him. The only thing you are controlling is your OWN life.
It is YOUR choice.
Last edited by GoingForward; 02/15/0807:25 PM.
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
