Sorry that you've found yourself here in this place, as we all have.
You've been hurt very badly, and now that hurt has turned into anger. Sounds to me like you want to lash out at those who have caused you this pain.
It is understandable. We've all been there. Some have gone through it, some are going through it, and some will continue to go through more of these crazy, unfair feelings.
It is ultimately YOUR decision on what to do. Please think very long and hard about it before making that choice. While it may help relieve your pain and anger, it will only be short-lived, and you might very well find that it didn't help at all. In fact, it could make your sitch much worse, and not only that, it could cause turmoil in another M. Do you honestly want to be responsible for that?
There is much debate on this subject (exposing A's). I, personally, do not feel that they should be allowed to be kept secret or ongoing. I do not believe that a R can thrive when the WAS is allowed to keep living in fantasy. But others feel that it should be left alone because they believe the A will die out over time. In some cases, the unfaithful spouse is still living in the house while continuing their A, and the hurt spouse would prefer that the WAS stays home. They believe it keeps the WAS close and also gives the WAS opportunities to see the changes the LBS is making, hoping it will make the WAS think twice about leaving.
Again, it is solely up to you, and I hope you make the right decision for you.
Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward. ~ Joseph Campbell
