Yesterday W told me she was making her invoice so she could get paid by the center she works at. This should have been submitted last SATURDAY but they were out of town so she couldn't get paid. So it's a week now and she hasn't submitted it. Not sure if they were out till today.
She tells me it's about $1,200. I mentioned that the health insurance is past due and some other stuff she is supposed to pay. She gets angry at me and says she KNOWS and she'll figure out what she can do and what she can pay. Realistically, I've paid the food bill and other incidentals this past week. I'm not mad but it was important to discuss bills.
When I do she takes it as me getting on her case. I'm not, I try to be cordial and nice. Oh well.
Last night D17 came home around 10 pm from a birthday party at her friends house for his mom. This past week has been hard for her because her boyfriend broke up with her.
She came home and W was in bed reading one of her self help books. This one is a diet / nutrition book. I wasn't in the room at the time but when I came upstairs and went in, D17 was getting off the bed and going to her room, seeming unhappy.
I asked W what was up with her and she said this:
W: Well you know, she's upset about BF breaking up and it's valentines day.
Me: Yeah, that sucks.
W: Yeah, and then I noticed a smell that was like a 'pot' smell so I asked her about it.
Me: (surprised because D17 is a very smart girl and has no interest in drugs, her friends are band geeks, and they were at a house where the parents were there) What did she say?
W: She was mad that I asked her that because she doesn't think I trust her.
Me: Well, I'll go talk to her then and see what's up.
W: ok.
So, I go to D17's room. I'm skeptical about any of this so I'm trying to not be serious, but light.
Me: Hey, so mom thinks you were around people smoking pot?
D17: (angry and crying now) I don't know WHY she says things like that. I don't know WHY she doesn't trust me. I'm not a bad kid and I have NEVER done anything untrustworthy. I don't even KNOW what pot smells like! Gee dad, smell my clothes and my hair and tell me what YOU think.
So, I did. I didn't smell anything. She has a leather jacket and she had drank some mint tea so she smelled like - tea. Nothing else really. Hair is a good filter because it absorbs everything around it.
Well, I smiled and said that I guess mom was just thinking she smelled something.
Well, D17 then is crying angry and says:
D17: WHY does mom come up with these weird things all the time? I just came home and I wanted to talk to her because I was feeling crappy because XBF didn't even send me an e-mail today. When I try to talk to her she thinks I'm smoking POT??
D17: She's hardly home and when she is she's always reading or something. She's distant and doesn't seem to want to be here.
D17: She never seems to understand anything I want to talk about and when we do talk she has these totally off base ideas about what I'm doing or how I should deal with things.
Me: Well she loves you and trys her best to interpret your needs but of course she only has her own experiences to draw from and your teenage lives are very different.
D17: Yeah, but she could try to think about my life.
Me: She and I both do, we both love you. You know you can always talk to me if you're needing more opinions.
D17: I know daddy, I just get so frustrated because I don't understand mom at all. I wish she would get herself together.
I gave her a hug and went to the bedroom and got ready for bed. W did not ask me about D17 at all. I finally said "D17 is pretty upset about XBF and valentines day." W said "yeah, it's been tough for her, Valentines is a hard holiday".
I just said "Yes, it sure can be". That was the end of the conversation.
Went to sleep.
This morning I didn't check mail, phone logs, nothing. W was rushing around and left to go to work. she said a pleasant 'goodbye' and that's about it.
I'm working on projects today, hoping to make more progress.
