I can't stand the "women are crazy" comments either. Although when you are PMS-ing (and boy can I relate this week) you do tend to be more emotional. This too shall pass.
I knew you were in a bad way when you took my totally non-serious posts in such a literal way. What is happening with you and how are you taking care of yourself emotionally?
If I were your nearest girlfriend we would definately do a girl day or something. You know that you are struggling - what are you doing to find your way to the top?
I am too upset for chocolate and/or rice pudding and alcohol never works for me. Maybe my sister still has some post-cancer Valium I can scam. I've never taken it before but it just seems like the right drug for the moment.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
I knew you were in a bad way when you took my totally non-serious posts in such a literal way. What is happening with you and how are you taking care of yourself emotionally?
Thanks. I'm sorry if I was cranky with you. I don't have time to post the whole stupid story because I actually have to work a lot today but I guess the essential issue is that I am having to deal with the fact that there is nothing relative about my HD. I am a freak. Probably even a super-freak. I can't deny it because both my sister and I have been in sexual relationships with very, very experienced men lately and they have all independently and spontaneously told us that is the case.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Don't anesthatize your pain - learn from it. If you feel that you are suffering from a chronic emotional imbalace go get appropriate help, your own perscription etc... More likely is that you are experiencing a low, we all have them. Take a step back in order to care for yourself, utilize your natural supports (girlfriends, activities, etc...) until the world and your hormones right themselves. If your funk carries on too long go see someone!
Believe it or not but I still hold that your best is/was your exH. You have a lot of unfinished business that you seem to be sorting through, which is fine, we all do. The problem I see is that you seem to be steering toward the same type of cynicism that your exH had toward women, only you are developing this toward men.
You both have the same issue, and that is a lot of core childhood hurt that drives you both to either try WAY too hard to be accepted by others, or you get angry and cynical when you don’t get the acceptance you think you should have. The lack of acceptance may not be due to some other person’s actions or words, but to your perception of what acceptance is.
I’m not sure how hopping from one man to another is going to help you resolve this matter. I can see how coming to terms with your exH would help, even helping him to find his own sense of peace could help (this has nothing to do with whether you get back together or not). I know what you’ll say, that you tried to help your exH, you sacrificed and subjected yourself to his abuse, etc. While I believe that is true, I also think some of it was self-serving, trying to make him happy so that he would make you happy…. just a more intricate form of who can be the biggest, most pitiful martyr, and how can you make your spouse rescue you.
Perhaps this old mindset is where you are stuck, and is still the kind of game you are “playing,” which is only destined to hurt you. Don’t fool yourself into thinking that it is not fair that men can do this (ala Blackfoot), so why can’t women? Men will get hurt too, it may take longer for the effects to become clear (in part I think because they don’t bear children), but spending a life alone is not good for anyone, man or woman. Drop the cynicism and the anger toward men.
Mojo, the fact that you feel this way after being with these men is a sign that they are not the right men for you. (And also that your ex wasn't either.) When you leave the presence of Mr. Right, you should not feel like the scum of the earth. You should feel like a smart, pretty, sexy princess/Nobel prize winner. Use these feelings to help you sort them out.
Also you're not a bad GF. You're a perfectly wonderful, normal woman who is capable of a close, fun, sexy, intelligent relationship and any guy who chooses to criticize you because HE is not comfortable is not worthy of your attention.
the fact that you feel this way after being with these men is a sign that they are not the right men for you.
I agree those men may not be right for Mojo (or maybe one of them is right?), but I also don't think they should have the power to send her into such a tailspin. To me, that says something about unfinished business on Mojo's part, and that unfinished business could be provoking such comments from the men.
I am a freak. Probably even a super-freak. I can't deny it because both my sister and I have been in sexual relationships with very, very experienced men lately and they have all independently and spontaneously told us that is the case.
Need more details to figure that one out. Did something go south with new guy? Did he actually say that you were a freak (in a mean way, not a good way) or are you just feeling like that yourself for some reason?
you do tend to be more emotional. This too shall pass.
