My mother has had a huge negative impact on ALL my Rs, whether it's with friends or H, my whole life. My M has personality disorders too (although never diagnosed) I belive she has Dependant Personality Disorder and Borderline Personality Disorder. In addition to that she is a fix-it-mom and has been so over protective of me since day one that I have lost good friends because of her meddling aka "helping".
This past Christmas my parents spent 6 weeks with us. Wow what a nightmare...crying, meddling, fixing. I had to put a stop to it.People who have wonderful relationships with their Mothers will not understand what I did but I feel you might benefit from my story.
I told her we couldn't have a relationship anymore and that she couldn't come visit us anymore. I told her that when she visits she's sad and I'm stressed. This all put a stress on my R with H and I know that in my heart of hearts I did the right thing. I cannot and will not subject myself or my family to this kind of R with my mother. I know its harsh and I know shes my mother who spent 14 hours in labour with me but I let her go. I sent her away. I cried and cried over this but I did what I did because I had to.
My point is that sometimes we have to let our mothers go.
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
