Hi w8ing! Thanks for stopping by. I know it sounds like things are better, but I'm trying not to forget that there are so many underlying, unresolved issues that we need to work on. I need to be patient!
JC today, it went well. We spent alot of the time talking about H's family issues (there's never enough time to get through all of those family issues). C did an amazing job connecting those issues to our M and how our parents' M affects our own attitudes toward M. H revealed that he feels like he has to work on his other issues before he can focus on "reconnecting" with me fully. Later, w/C's guidance he recognized that it's not all black and white- he doesn't have to give either 100% or nothing. I told him that I am lonely waking up alone in the morning, I miss him. C asked h if he missed me too and he said yes. Good session. Now I am trying to lower my expectations again.
Sounds like C went really well...don't get your hopes up yet...we all hate those hard landings! My fingers and toes are crossed and I'm praying for you! PMA PMA PMA!
Keep up the good work!
BA
Me:43 H:48 M:24 yrs T: 26 yrs 2 kids ILYNILWYA 8-07 - MOW 9-07 H moved out 8-2-08 Back 8-18-08 Affair continues Back home but not emotionally
I was feeling great yesterday, but today I'm a little more grounded, thinking about all of the underlying problems that we still need to work through.
I'm so happy that we're at this point, where I can feel that old connection with him almost every day (it was gone for awhile there), but we still have so far to go. I wonder if we'll ever work through all of those issues. I wonder if he'll decide again that he'd rather be away from me than with me. I wonder if there are things that have happened with him that I'd rather not know about- and will I find something out that will change how I feel? I wonder how I will know that I've truly 100% forgiven him for the lies and deceptions. I wonder if I will need to stay on ADs to keep my temper and patience in check- or have I learned how to handle life on my own in a mature way?
I wish I could answer your questions! You have expessed a fear I have, if things do get better, will I always be looking over my shoulder, waiting for them to go south again? I don't know the answer to that, and I don't know where to find it. I guess the first step might be just knowing it is out there, and trying to understand those feelings.
For V day, h gave me some flowers and a big batch of hope packaged in a little card. He thanked me for "waiting for him", said that he had things that he had to work on, this bad time had little to do with me and the kids. He thinks we are in a much better place than we were a year ago, he knows I've taken on a bigger load lately and he appreciates it. I thanked him, but didn't use the card to go into R talk.
I am proud of myself for being so patient. I never thought I would have been capable of it several months ago!
