Dar, the consumption of the brain for your loved one is perfectly normal. If I could, I'd direct you to all my posts from this time last year, but they've been wiped from the boards (*shrug*). It's normal, but it's something you got to stop doing and stop focusing on.
The reason we're using a lot of 2x4's right now is because we've been there and know that once you START thinking about them, you start to spiral down and can't STOP thinking about them. So, you have to learn to stop before you even start.
"I made the wall of shadow draw back, beyond desire and act, I walked on.
Oh flesh, my own flesh, woman whom I loved and lost, I summon you in the moist hour, I raise my song to you."
