You've covered the bases, so I won't reiterate what has already been said.
It IS hard to feel forgotten like an outgrown toy. It IS hard to see your life veering off down a different path from your husband's. It IS hard to know that your 41 year old husband is now dating a child. All of that is incredibly difficult.
So, what are we going to do about it?
I'm not sure if this a "dad" weekend for your D11, but if it is, where are you going to rush off tonight? Can you call a friend to set up a drink date? Can you buy a movie ticket online for a movie you've been wanting to see? Can you make an appointment to get your hair/nails/whatever done? What would you really look forward do doing?
What is something that you've wanted to learn or wanted to dedicate more time to? Google around and find a group to join. If there isn't one, you start one. Then you can pick Friday at 6pm to have the meetings
Work is good, and it can pass the time and push you to your challenge limits. HOWEVER, (and this is coming from someone who considers a 50 hour workweek 'slow') it cannot define who you are. You need to step outside of your comfort zone and try something new.
Hell woman, I played softball for a season! 'Played' is a term that I should use loosely, but I did meet some great people that I worked with. I also embarassed myself to new heights, but I learned to laugh instead of cry.
Reach out there and join something. A writing class, even. Just force yourself back out into the world.
Cagz, you are no looser. If there truly is one winner and one looser in every situation - look at it like this. If things remain as they are and you forge a new way for yourself into a life rich with writing, new activities, a new level of physical fitness, great friends, travel, etc... and he's sitting at home with a 23 year old child fawning over him ---- who is the looser here????
What you lost is a marriage that wasn't working. What you are going to gain is either a marriage that does work OR a life that does work. Either way, you're coming out ahead here. I know that is hard to see now, it was hard for me too. But then one day I heard "yes" to the divorce question in my calm and I knew, I had made it.
So what is it going to be? Your new personal challenge is _____. Your steps to make it yours are _______. It starts ______.
Fill in the blanks, baby! We're going on a wild ride!
"It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere."
--Agnes Repplier, writer and historian
