Hugs Mishka! I know this is a really tough day. It's all about flowers, candy, dining out and of course love. All that we wanted, dreamed and hoped from our marriages.
I am sure your h is thinking of you. How could he not after 18 years. He just can't be there for you now, doesn't mean he can't in the future.
Put your focus on S and God, he needs you to be strong now. I know it's not easy. Your S will understand the crying. My kids always tell me "sorry mommy". All I can say is at least they are still in my life. I don't know what I would do without them.
Me 50 H 42 S 22 S 9 D 7 M 12 T 17 H moved out 8/2006 H moved home 1/2007 for 3 weeks H moved home 5/2011 for good
"Learn from yesterday ~ Live for today ~ And hope for tomorrow"