She's ready to move on

[Michael Mc C]

Hey Mom of 2, things are going pretty well, I guess. No mention of Retro quite yet but I think I'm going to bring it up this weekend.

For Valentine's Day today I gave her a hand-made card with an orange star on the front. I wrote "Mama Bear, Happy February 14th. Sincerely, Papa Bear"

A couple of things: The mama bear and papa bear thing is a term of endearment that we use but usually when we're goofing around. They always been TRUE terms of endearment which stopped being said back in September. A few weeks ago she began calling me that again and 3 times this week (not that I'm counting).

Valentine's Day has never been a big hit for either of us. We share the opinion that there really isn't much special about a day where every guy goes running out to show his love by doing the same thing as every other guy (I know, there are some really unique ideas out there). The fact is that there are 364 other days in the year where our love should be shown. This is why I put a star on the card (it's a shape, just like a heart is ONLY a shape) and why I made no mention of Valentine's Day, just the date.

She received the card and was overjoyed. She said it was perfect, she laughed and she has it hanging on the refrigerator now. Good job Michael...

Okay, so we spent most of the week together - she has been sick and I work from home. I've sat at the kitchen table most of the week while she was working on homework. It has been great reconnecting, at least on some level. The night time intimacy has been non-stop (again, not sexual, just the touching and closeness) since it resurfaced last week.

So she started a conversation tonight that I didn't want to get into. It was about how she felt that I rely on her too much for my own happiness. I shot her down quickly letting her know that despite the reputation, I am in fact very capable, willing and happy to find happiness within myself.

We began talking about what SHE is going through right now regarding regrets, healing, TRUST, etc. While I didn't jump all over her, I did let her know that I, too, was having very similar issues.

I wish I could replay everything that has been said tonight. One thing in my mind that stands out was me asking "Are you planning on divorcing me?"

Let me just say that this was said in a way that it could not be mistaken as anything other than me wanting to know what the plans were. It was very matter-of-fact, nothing needy, emotional or lacking confidence.

She said "No, I have no plans to do that."

While this is great news, I know that she, I and we have a lot of work ahead of us. Right now we are in stasis and she said that it should be okay for a while. I explained that while stasis is comfortable at the moment, one of us will tire of it and that without doing something to fix what needs to be fixed (in each of us individually as well as a couple) this can't last for long.

She agreed. I should have mentioned Retro at that point, or counseling. Instead I am going to send her a link to Retro with comments regarding tonight's discussion.

We are going to U23D Friday night (as long as she is healthy again). She's really looking forward to it, as am I and I think this will further cement our reconnection. I am trying my best not to seem too eager so as not to scare her off with any ideas of me having "expectations".