I hate that need we have to understand this mess. Mostly because it's always so non-understandable. If you're fairly rational minded, like I am, the chaos of thought that these men and women live in is just amazing. Immersing ourselves too deeply in it just leads to pain, confusion, and frustration.
Yeah, and I have enough on my shoulders with my own issues of the past year that I'm dealing with also.
One of my friends today said we should just tell the kids (D12 and D17) and either have W move out or live in the guest bedroom since she really can't afford a place of her own right now. It's a 'self respect' thing. She's in some kind of EA and he felt I should put my foot down.
All I have as evidence are phone logs and text message logs and a couple e-mails that imply 'feelings' but don't say anything directly. And circumstantial evidence that there could have been a PA this week. W doesn't deny anything, she just says nothing now and erases her text messages.
Last month we 'agreed' to just keep the status quo from now till June to give us time to get into a better financial position and to give the kids a 'stable' situation till school gets out.
I know there are other people on the board who are living with a WAS who is on the 'divorce train' and coping with the living arrangements. I just don't know what to do. It's between hurting the kids now and having to carry THAT burden also or just dealing with the situation as it is and learning to detach while living in it.
We sleep in the same bed, we're cordial, and getting along most of the time.
If I can detach under these conditions I'll be alright. Two years ago it was a lot worse with her affair but we didn't sleep in the same bed, she was in the guest bedroom. But it took me about 4-5 months to get to the place where I really wanted her to go and I wanted to go on with my life without her.
