H and I own business together, still talking

[grid, lost]

The guys 30, are you thinking of robbing the cradle LOL.

lol, do you realize mike, this guy is the age of the OW !!!!??? Looks stupid doesn't it? No looks disgusting, that is it.

Could go on the internet online stuff. I've heard there are some wierdos out there though.

The talk here is everyone is trying match.com and then another actually found her husband on one of these date sites!!! Have heard of several to be honest. Amazing hu?? I would like to find someone who enjoys competing with the dogs as I do. Thought H liked it to but now guess he didn't. Oh well his loose not mine.
later,
grid, lost

[grid, lost]

Mike,
forgot to mention. I believe you not getting and sending a v-card to W was a wise decision. In the end with out realizing it you would have set yourself up to be hurt by her again.
Have to start doing what ever you need to do so W doesn't hurt you anymore. That would be a surprise to her. I honestly believe the MLC S thinks the LBS is responsible, even in present for all their problems. They blame the LBS if they even have a bad day. So when LBS walks from the S they are shocked and don't know what to do . So be happy in not sending a v-card. Never crossed my mind. I'm working hard on letting go of H. That seems to be his wish so be it.
grid, lost

[micoms]

Grid,

I don't know if I could date someone in their early 30's. Don't know how I would do around kids, raised mine wouldn't want to raise more. Teens would be OK, but young ones, don't know if I have the patience any more.

Coach said not to give her cards or any gifts, would be considered pursuing. Said to only give her a compliment or praise on the way out, it will look like I'm not saying it to get a response from her to work on us, give the compliment and leave.

Are your dogs possessive of you, your protectors? Can't imagine how intimidating that would be for a man to walk in and see them staring at you, LOL. How much do your dogs weigh? My dainty little lab is about 90lbs, huge for a female. They usually weigh about 70lbs, vet wants her at 85.

Where do our WAS's find their manuals, seems like everyone S's say the same things whether they are men or women. W has blamed me for everything. It's all my fault, not hers. She had nothing to do with it in her eyes.

Mike

[grid, lost]

I don't know if I could date someone in their early 30's. Don't know how I would do around kids,

Yea, and H's OW doesn't even have any kids yet! He should have an interesting time with her, delievery, diaper time, school yrs, college. yep, life I want @ my age.

Said to only give her a compliment or praise on the way out, it will look like I'm not saying it to get a response from her to work on us, give the compliment and leave.

Are you trying to become a mystery person to your W or give the impression I have moved on without you? Ok, I see where the coach is coming from. I also understand since you and I are so emotionally involved in the stitch we are not able of making smart moves. To me seems as if W needs to see you as a mystery and herself alone. Those two will turn her head around I would think. I need to set up another coach call just not sure where I am going with H and R. So maybe for a few weeks should just look after myself and well being. Mike you seem much more in control of self, emotions, etc. Where as I just go off into a deep end of depression. Tired of the negative from H, really tired of that one. Is your W negative about everything? H is, makes your stomach rollover. So best I step aside for a bit.

Are your dogs possessive of you, your protectors? Can't imagine how intimidating that would be for a man to walk in and see them staring at you, LOL. How much do your dogs weigh? My dainty little lab is about 90lbs, huge for a female. They usually weigh about 70lbs, vet wants her at 85.

Yes, although a bernese mountain dog is a teddy bear type breed, gentle,loves kids, never the less. When push comes to shove a good bernese mt. dog should not back down. Several of mine have proven theirselves. So there are 5 doggie sets of large teeth roaming about the house all of the time. lol Actually, most people have a bigger problem keeping them out of their lap as they all believe they should be lap dogs. IF a berner (nickname for BMD) likes you they at once sit on your feet and lean into you. lol quite cute and can almost knock one over.
Mine weigh in any where from 80-95lbs, with no fat!!! That is muscle and not fat. My guys are not very large for the breed. Today breeders are breeding them well over 110lbs and that is getting to be way to big for this breed. Males should run 85-105lbs and females a bit less. After that, well breeding a dog much bigger than any found in historical documents. The breed today is still a working farm dog in Swiss mts. and use to be used as draft animals. You can not believe how strong they are!!! My one girl could move your car for you, honest. they are strong dogs.

Where do our WAS's find their manuals, seems like everyone S's say the same things whether they are men or women.

Yep, us LBS, we are all the cause and problem. World would be a better place if all LBS would just fall off face of earth. According to the wisdom of WAS, that is if they have any wisdom. ROFL! enough, catch you later.
grid, lost

[micoms]

Grid,

Busy weekend for me. That's what coach said, to make myself more interesting, to be on the go, if at D's house spend most of the time with D o and playing with GS. I got the opportunity to put it in effect Friday. Got a call from D24's BF, he was stuck in traffic and could I pick her up from work. I did, took her to her house, played with GS and talked to D and her BF. I was in the kitchen with BF, wanted to know if I wanted dinner. Told him no, I'm meeting a friend for a couple of drinks at 9:30, I need to be going. I'm sure W overheard. Went to leave W said have a good time, I said I will. Went to a bowling alley where I bowl, thought I'd know a few people there. Left and went home but parked my car on the next street over in case W would drive by on her way to work at 4:30 AM. Sat night I went to S27's house with S26. Parked my car in another neighborhood and rode with S. W was coming over to take D19 shopping. Told D19 I was going to dinner with a "friend". Came home about 1:30 in the AM. Maybe W will think I'm starting to see others, I might not be here waiting if she wants to return.

I guess thats what it's accomplishing is she doesn't know what I'm doing. She thinks I'll stay at home and wait on her. I might sem like I got it together, but I get the depression times also. I'm even on AD's.

My W has been negative about things, it seems to be decreasing somewhat, I hope I'm not seeing more into this than what it is. The coach said there is 4 steps, reducing negative feelings is the first one. She also said to change my appearance, I told her I've lost about 60lbs. I think I'm going to get rid of my goatee. The kids can't remember me without facial hair! If I don't like it I can always grow it back. I had been dying it to look younger for W, I really didn't care. It was turning a whitish blonde.

D24 said W had last weekend off and didn't do anything. W is starting to be awake more D says also. Maybe she's starting to come out of her MLC. Although it's probably me seeing more in the situation again.

I shall continue to go forward.

Mike

[grid, lost]

Went to a bowling alley where I bowl, thought I'd know a few people there. Left and went home but parked my car on the next street over in case W would drive by on her way to work at 4:30 AM. Sat night I went to S27's house with S26. Parked my car in another neighborhood and rode with S. W was coming over to take D19 shopping. Told D19 I was going to dinner with a "friend". Came home about 1:30 in the AM. Maybe W will think I'm starting to see others, I might not be here waiting if she wants to return.

WOW, Mike you have really moved into full DBing mode. You Go! Hope this all works and at very least your W is never going to look at you the same again.
I am sorta trying to do the same with H. Working with shelter, want to try part time job, training my dog. Want to be on go just as much as possible can.
Rehab by week and on the go by weekend. Plus, ref or coaching, which ever you said. sorry forgot.
You are going to be tired in a few weeks.
Keep the fight up against the depression. It is hard I know.
grid, lost

[micoms]

Grid,

I referee, I used to coach. Coached D19's team until she moved to high competitive team. That team won Ohio state cup (state champions)3 times, and were runners up twice. They were coached by N Kentucky University's womens soccer coaches from 12 years old. We did a lot of traveling with them. Played tournaments in Chicago, Richmond Va, New Jersey, St Louis, Tennessee, they were even invited to the Disney Invitational in Fla. That one was all teams that won their state cups. I also coached S26's club team when he was in high school. I am undefeated as a high school head soccer coach. I was the head coach for one game, we tied, LOL.

Going to see if D24 wants to go with me and take GS to Chucky Cheese Sun. It will give me the opportunity to let W see me without any facial hair for the first time in years. If she asks I'll tell her someone wanted to see what I looked like without the beard, won't tell her it was me!! Going to stop by D's house tomorrow night to drop off W's proof of insurance card. After that D19 is going shopping with me to get me some new threads. Some that actually fit, I might even be able to wear fitted shirts again.

W seems to be reconnecting with our S's. She''s called S26 twice in less than two weeks and is going to S27's house for the second time in two weeks also. I've read when S is coming out of MLC they reconnect with the kids first, I hope that is the case here.
She hadn't been to S27's house except for the time around Tday and two weeks ago since Sept 06.

Going to continue to DB this weekend. I'll find an excuse to stop by D24's house while on my way to have dinner or something with a "friend". I'll park my car somewhere else in the neighborhood in case she drives by on her way to work again. Oh well bedtime calls.

Mike

[grid, lost]

I am undefeated as a high school head soccer coach. I was the head coach for one game, we tied, LOL.

WOW!!! You should be a college coach!! When can you retire from day job and head off to a top college??? I am not joking!

let W see me without any facial hair for the first time in years. If she asks I'll tell her someone wanted to see what I looked like without the beard, won't tell her it was me!!

LOL, Mike you are so clever and good at your DBing! Keep up the good work.
For now have said the end of my M. H has no interest in us, etc. If one day he calls, well that will be different. Sending him on his way and he can find me. Of course we are still tied to each other like twins with the business.
Keep up your DB, it will work! Have to run to SPCA and see if can bath a dog or two for them.
grid, lost

[micoms]

Grid,

I was only the head coach for one game, LOL. The team that won state cups I didn't coach, we turned the team over to the college coaches. The budget for that team ran from $16,000 to $24,000 per year to be split by 16 girls. It sounds expensive but D was being trained by college coaches as an eight grader on. Almost every year they had sponsor money that covered all the cost. One year they turned sponsor money away. The very first game D played for this team she played against her old team she used to play goalie for. The coach would never giver playing time on the field. That game she scored the game winning goal. I ran into her old coach later he asked if D was playing. He asked what team he was shocked when I told him the team and wanted to know if she played in the game against them. I told him yes, he wanted to know which position she played. My W said the one that scored the goal.

Yep, I shaved it off tonight, if W asks why I shaved it off I'm going to say somebody wanted to see what I would look like without a beard. I just won't tell her it was me. I kind of like it, it's been years since I've had a clean face. Coach said I need to change my appearance, I guess this is drastic enough. I think I'll see if my aunt/big sister wants to see a movie tomorrow night. I'll make sure it's a chick flick. W will really think I'm dating. Last Friday after seeing her at D's house and saying I'm going to meet someone for a couple of drinks, she drove past the house at 5:30 Am on her way to work. She didn't see my car, I had parked it elsewhere in the neighborhood. She asked my best friend if I was dating someone, and told him she looked for my car and didn't see it in front of the house, LOL. He told her he didn't know he hadn't talked to me in a couple of weeks. Told him to tell her I just said it was a friend. Besides she wants a D, does she expect me to stay at home crying?

Maybe I'll get up early and sit in my car and see if W drives by again, not going anywhere tonight I think.

Grid, don't give up, he seemed to be reconnecting earlier. He will poke his head out and go back into the tunnel. It's a roller coaster ride, hang on.

Mike

[grid, lost]

D was being trained by college coaches as an eight grader on.

She could have gone pro. if wanted to. Very lucky in many ways, one the coach, etc. also parents who supported her. As you and I chatted about wanting to go further in sports and parents wouldn't support us. How much that hurt. So D is very lucky

Yep, I shaved it off tonight, if W asks why I shaved it off I'm going to say somebody wanted to see what I would look like without a beard. I just won't tell her it was me. I kind of like it, it's been years since I've had a clean face. Coach said I need to change my appearance

,
Mike all I can say is your good very good! What everyone say at work and the ladies their comments. I like clean shaved guys better than not. LOL old school or somethin, no the beard tickles. lol

I guess this is drastic enough.

Yep I think you're a good student for your coach.

She asked my best friend if I was dating someone,
She's hooked Mike, you have her. Can hardly wait to hear next step with her. Post what your coach offers, ok? Talking and asking questions to your friends means it is killing her to not know. Yea, agree with you, first didn't want you around now you say ok, and go off with new life. Oh dear that isn't what she had in mind. You aren't suppose to have alife and enjoy it without her. Sometimes I feel like the WAS wants the LBS to be in as much pain as they are.

Maybe I'll get up early and sit in my car and see if W drives by again, not going anywhere tonight I think.

ROFL, but then will be hard to surprise her again. W may put 2 n 2 together and realize your aren't involved with another person. Then again, maybe she will not drive by. Oh H*** go sit in car. lol As you are reading this the night has passed, so what happen:??

Grid, don't give up, he seemed to be reconnecting earlier. He will poke his head out and go back into the tunnel. It's a roller coaster ride, hang on.

mike, I really will not give up but need some time away from H and no contact in ref. to personal stuff. of course easier said than done. So much we shared and know he has the answer. Some times rather than what till I find info. another way, later, I call him. Actually this maybe pulling away is exactly what I should do.
Coach, said to me, "H has truly with drawn from the world. He has elected to take his life raft and go drift in the sea away from all. I am on my own raft, out to sea adrift and what I'm to do is slap on the sun tanny lotion and wait. Let H make decisions, etc." So maybe me pulling back and getting away from him is exactly what I'm doing. Going to take a few weeks and then call Jodie again, see if there is anyway to reconnect. Maybe with me gone H will take a serious look at the OW and ask him self if this is what he really wants. Then again, maybe not. As long as H is drifting on his raft H is not going to make a decision.
Now this coming week is about all Mike and his golden opportunity. the ice block is starting to move, ever so slowly.
Do you suppose with W wanting the jewelry deprt. position maybe she is starting to realize the damage and isolation her present schedule is causing her. Think? She just might click the schedule did some impack on hurting the marriage after all.
Let us all hope so and pray W is looking at the world from a differnt angel.
grid, lost