On the MIL - Do you think maybe H lied and neglected to pass on her invitations to you - so that YOU think she didn't invite you, and SHE thinks you snubbed her invitation????????
Amusing thought for the day: "I don’t understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine’s Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon." - Anonymous
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
that's an interesting point ellie made. whatever it is, your H is probably the only one with the whole story. That's why we always have to keep an open mind cause you never know exactly what the other person was feeling. so many R's (friends or M's) are broken because people don't find out what exactly is wrong, and it ends up being BOTH people thinking the other person doesn't like them or something silly. I'm glad you gave them that xmas gift, and you've continued to be civil to them.
That IS really scary about the wreck, and very cool H was comforting with you. And Awesome he made it to the next level too! oh and good job not freaking out soo much that it controlled you or caused physical problems.
So glad to hear how well things are going. Don't be scared about V day, it's just another day, don't expect anything, but maybe wear some really sexy nighties that H hasn't seen yet? I wouldn't even worry about giving him a gift, (unless that was his top 5LLs, can't remember)
MAKE a great day today!
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
Sounds like things are going well! Hey, for tonight, why not just keep it low key? Light a fire, put on a movie or pick up a good book, cozy up on the couch...maybe cook some pasta, they have great fresh stuff at the market that tastes special...make a salad, garlic bread, some wine. Keep it normal and low key, maybe even just do it as if you're treating yourself. Let H decide if he wants to join in or not.
Whatever you do, enjoy!
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
Happy Valentine's Day to all my DB friends!! I hope you're doing well no matter how your sitch is going right now.
Michelle Thank you - yes, definitely going well. Still a lot of weirdness, but I'm happy for the progress, too.
Good point about getting through the bomb "anniversaries" - I know that as much as I fought it I was having some tension/anxiety about those. I'm sure it showed in my actions/words, and I imagine it probably had some effect on H too.
haha love your Cupid quote, that's funny.
Ellie That thought has definitely crossed my mind! The only reason I somewhat believe him is that she was acting strange even before all that. Like she'd come over to the house and make it a point to not go in the house, or ignore me if she did happen to see me (i.e. I usually didn't even know she was over visiting, but if I walked out to my car she'd be out in the garage with H, I'd say hi, and she'd act like she didn't see or hear me... it was very weird.) But yes, definitely crossed my mind.
Oldtimer You've stumped me.. GMTA??
jak Thanks! I think things do seem to be progressing a bit finally.
Today was a little awkward.. H actually said he wanted to call in sick because "it's not a good day to be at work." I thought that was strange. I did wish him a happy V. Day though and he did the same. It almost felt wrong, like I snuck an ILY in there.
ST Definitely - in fact I wonder if even H knows the whole story! I think some of it is "behind the scenes" even for him, with his mom and sister. For awhile it was very much this "us against the world (especially those evil spouses)" thing with the 3 of them. Dunno for sure, but that's my guess. Now that SIL's D is almost final this seems to be lessening. I forgot to mention, they both thanked me for the Xmas gifts, too. Surprised me since it was quite awhile ago.
Yes, the wreck was freaky! Soo glad the guy was OK. I forgot to mention I used it as an opportunity to build up H's ego a bit too. I told him that I thought he was a great driver and his skills and instincts would have prevented him from making that same mistake. (truly DO believe this.. I wasn't being insincere).
I did actually get him a gift. I went back and forth on it but finally decided to get him the fire-proof undies he has to have before he can officially race - yes, they have to wear both a fireproof suit AND fireproof undies. Guess they really want to protect certain areas. I thought it would be kinda funny to say I got him some sexy undies for Valentine's Day. (they are SO UNsexy.. long thermal type underwear but made out of Nomex.. so thought it would be worth a laugh).
We are going to dinner tonight. It was a weird conversation and it came up almost like "Oh yeah, tomorrow's Valentine's day maybe we should go to dinner" (when yet another jewelry commercial was on.. H brought it up but we both kinda went "Oh yeah, sure is.." like it snuck up on us right?). At first it was kinda a "should" thing but H brought it up again later and talked about this fancy place we went downtown one Valentine's Day. We went on a whim and thought we'd never get in since we had no reservations (but we didn't really care, if they were booked we were just gonna walk around and talk and maybe hit McD's on the way home... ahhh the early days..). We got lucky and there was no wait, and I remember H saying something about it being "fate" that we got in. He also proposed to me outside of that restaurant a few years later, and our engagement pics were taken around that area too. This was all H bringing it up - I was shocked he remembered that V-Day, nevermind brought it up or wanted to go to the place we got engaged!
NoCode Thanks! Happy Valentine's Day to you, too.
SDFoundGirl Thanks for checking in! Actually your idea is along the lines of what I was already thinking about doing, until he brought up the dinner thing (and we might still do that if the restaurant is packed). Sounds very nice!
------------------------------- It's been a pretty good day, so far. H liked the "Happy Valentine's Day" this morning and said it back, so was glad for that. Even with being kinda "blah" about the holiday this year I decided to enjoy it rather than ignore it - so I wore a red sweater and earrings, been wishing everyone a Happy Valentine's, etc.
Then I went to the dentist for my next set of Invisalign trays. The Invisalign tech is going through a D (well, break up after 18 years - never married but really, same difference). She also knows a bit of my sitch.. we commiserated some over the holidays. Someone else looked at my teeth today but she came over real quick to say "I'm with another patient but just have to tell you Happy Valentine's Day. Remember no matter what's going on, people love you!" . I said something similar back to her.
Went to Starbucks after.. my monthly treat after my dentist appts (the hot coffee feels good on my newly moving teeth). I went to the drive through - when I got up to pay, she handed me the coffee and said "Happy Valentine's Day from the person in front of you! She bought your coffee today." I was floored.. that was so nice!! That's happened to me twice now - I need to remember how great it makes me feel and do that sometime as a random act of kindness.
Work's been slow today, so my Dad took me out to a long lunch and we talked a lot. Found out my grandma's doing pretty well - they didn't expect her to live more than a week or two as of mid-January, so I was VERY glad to hear that. His sitch isn't going too well, stepmom wants to move forward with splitting the assets and stuff - not a big surprise but still hard on him. Everything he does is so anti-DB it's really sad and hard to see/hear, but I gave up on talking to him about that awhile ago. His therapists (yes multiple) are now all focusing on him "letting go" so I think that'll help his mental status, at least.
All in all having a very good day! Hoping the dinner thing works out tonight but I'm fine if not - I like your idea a lot SD (treating myself, H is welcome to join me).
Hope everyone is doing well. Gotta get back to work (not THAT slow ) but will catch up with everyone soon.
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
