Yea, I should have edited that part out since I knew the answers already.
Jack, as far as Drew's analogy. I must not get it then. I took what Drew was saying as the football player (me really) being dumped and then clingy. The girl that dumped (H really) didn't do much but consider him a stalker. Then the football player GAL and made life work for him. Drew asked if the girl would look twice at that football player now that what he has to offer is more attractive, even though she ended things thinking he's a stalker.
Sooooo, I took it as Drew suggesting I GAL and have H miss me, wonder what I'm doing GAL'ing, etc to become attracted to me again.
Sorry, Dar, I was at S14's school volunteering for their Ellis Island simulation. At home now, and back online.
While you didn't get the high school analogy quite the way I meant it, you got the gist of it. The guy started out as an everyday Joe and made something out of himself.
You're not the butt of any joke. I'm trying to give you different examples or explanations so you "get it."
Something attracted your husband to you when you first met. Go back to the beginning. But not for him. For you.
Maybe this will help, it helped me, and it's out of the book so hopefully I won't end up on the naughty boy list here. One of the hardest things as a LBS is that it seems like your world turns upside down overnight, i.e. bomb time. But through the eyes of the WAS/MLC'er, they have been thinking about this for a long time. They think they were sending clear signals. Were they? They think so and that's all that matters. Why is the LBS so surprised???
That's why everyone is telling you that what would improve the marriage pre-bomb or earlier, like little love notes and texts, etc. WON'T WORK NOW. The game has changed.
Make more sense? If not, ask me questions.
Everybody hurts. It's part of life. Don't miss the good stuff.
Okay, so what H needed before won't work now. So I don't get what would work then. How is anyone supposed to know what their MLC spouse needs/wants without having to guess?
Drew, can you help me out with this? I guess I didn't get it.