Thanks for your replies. I'm grateful for your support.
Today is difficult as it is focused on "love" and I can't be with my love. I will think of her and say her name often today to keep me going, but I miss not being in her heart today. The day will pass and I'll be around tomorrow, but Valentine's Day '08 is and will be difficult.
As for me, I'm not worried at all about how I'll be with my D. I'll be totally fine and I'm anxious to see her. My problem will be today with acting "as if" with my W and not breaking down on Saturday when I return my D. I get to see my D today for the 1st time since the morning of the 5th! I can't wait. I get to have a dinner date with a beautiful little brunette. I am a blessed man.
I'm going to do whatever I can to lessen my W's aggression, but with the L's involved, it becomes difficult. I can't talk to her right now about us, so that makes life very tough and it frustrates her greatly.
My point isn't to drive a wedge b/t us, but I'm not happy w/ the no communication. I need to ask my L when we can resume cordial conversations so I can show that I care. I need to know a time-frame for this so I can interact with my W and keep DBing.
I'm hoping that Brit is spot on when he said the anger and aggression dies down after a bit. I've read that Brit and his W are spending a lot of time together now, so there is always, always hope.
Right now, the unfortunate thing is my W won't do this alone. She claims she needs to be "alone" so she can "have space to work and think" but, she's never really alone. EVER.
She is constantly communicating on the phone, via e-mail, chat, or text w/ someone. Usually she's communicating with several people at one time. This definitely isn't being alone.
I'm pretty sure she's afraid to be truly by herself because it would cause her to 2nd guess everything she's done up to now. This is where I worry a bit. If she's never going to allow herself to work through this on her own, she'll always be susceptible to the wants, whims, and words of her peers.
Today is dragging. I'm not a very good teacher and I can't wait to get to 4:30.
I can do this and I will. Love is patient, love is kind. I need to continue to be patient, even though it is painful.
