This stuff is not easy. It hurts and I can tell from your post that you are in a lot of pain. I am sorry for that and I wish I could ease it for you. I can tell you that you aren't alone in your sitch. We all are going through tough times right now and have to deal with our sitches in our own ways.
It may just be that your H will see your statement as a wake up call. All you can do now is wait and watch to see how he behaves. It is tough to have your partner regress to the behavior of a college student when he has the responsibilities of a father and husband. I am sure that I wouldn't react too differently that you have if I were in your shoes.
I guess the bottom line is to ask yourself what it is that YOU want. I have been spending a lot of time reading the Steinkamp books and visiting their website to read testimonies and listen to their audio messages. It has given me great comfort. I see where some spouses stand for their M's for years before the prodigal spouse comes home. I ask myself how they can do that. I have a hard time making it to the end of the week sometimes. But I am slowly realizing that it isn't up to me. It is on God's timetable. While DBing is great and the techniques are very good tools, it is my relationship with God that will restore my M. I totally believe that. And it is that belief that carries me through each day. My W won't even look at me when we are in the same room and while that hurts, it hurts me more to know that she is hurting so much that she is behaving that way.
I made a commitment to her and my family when we got married and I am going to stand for that no matter what.
Your sitch and your heart may not allow you to do that. It is hard and it hurts (A LOT!) but I believe that pray and faith in the fact that your M can be restored is the best path to travel.
I believe in DBing and I believe in the power of God. Add those two together and I think I have a damn good chance to make it through this and so do you!
Don't let him get to you, look to get through today. You can't do anything about the past or what your H will do or feel. You can only control yourself. Your actions will ultimately be the determining factor in how your sitch plays out.
I pray for you and wish you all the best. You are strong and you can do this. It is the toughest thing you will ever do and the reason it is so hard is because the reward is so great. Hang in there.
-Bryan
Me-45 W-34 T-5 M-3 1/2 s-10 s-12 ILYBNILWY 12/26/07 Sleeping away from home at friend's house(because she says she can't get any sleep otherwise) 1/14/08 1/25/08 We tell kids she is moving out
