I think I will be going back on the 23rd. I have already moved all of his stuff from the house. It's all upstairs in a seperate room that I dont have to look at. I talk to him lot. Probably way to much. Usually once a day and then text a few times. I cant help but wonder where he is at and assume they are together all the time. The first week I was gone I only talked to him once even though he left me messages daily. Then I tried (for 1 week) to just talk and not bring any of this stuff up. It's hard to do that I feel like I am giving myself false hope because we do have good conversations. My imagination is probably worse than the reality I dont know.
I hurt so much, cry all the time and I dont know how to pick myself up. Sometimes I feel so good like I can handle the world 5 minutes later I'm a mess. I think I need to get back home so I can move on. My parents are pressing for me to stay with them. I'm torn it's easy sometimes to be here (florida) and be away from it. Othertimes I want to be home (michigan) so I can get on with my life. I just dont know what the answer is or where to start. I havent worked in 2 months so I really think that would help me, if I can just bring myself to do it.
Thanks for writing so quickly I'm a mess and any adive or just to know someone is thinking of me is great.
