Help Me Act AS IF, Part 3

[newnamenewlife]

I continue to be so grateful for the smart and solid advice I get here. I hope one day to feel as centered and able to help others as you folks are.

H just called and asked me if I wanted to meet him for lunch before we go to an event at Ds school. I said I thought I should work instead and he said well maybe we'll get coffee afterwards.

Grace, when you say things (like H kissing me and wishng me happy v day) mean something, but not what I want them to, what do you mean? I don't think they mean anything at all except that some days H probably feels guilty and wants to be nice. I'm sure today he feels very guilty and knows that I would want nothing more than for him to send me hundreds of roses.

When he makes little gestures like asking me to lunch or saying happy V day, I do (secretly) get my hopes up that he's coming around, even though I know he is not. It's too confusing. As awful as it is when he ignores me completely, it helps me detach.

I guess this is why they call it a rollercoaster.