Please help...need MLC advice

[tpaschal]

To continue....He has continued with the alien behavior for a whole year now. Gets mad at something, rants and raves, quits seeing the kids for weeks at a time, says he'll never speak to me again except through the lawyers, then gets over it and starts coming around again, comes over to see the kids and hangs out and plays video games with them, takes out the garbage, etc.

I have been DB'ing but also have had many backslides. I'm so used to sharing EVERYTHING with him that sometimes I can't help telling him how I feel and what I think about what he's doing. Stupid of me, I know. But we were FRIENDS as well as lovers and partners, and I miss that. Even though it's been a year I still love him and MISS him. Well, I miss the him that I knew for the first 20 years of our lives together. I don't know this new person.

I am coping with depression, but sometimes not well. I had been a stay-at-home-mom for 14 years (typical story---I worked and helped put him through medical school, then when he started working I had a baby and started staying home) and he has been paying enough that I have not yet had to go to work. He has started in on that, though. "Why isn't the house on the market yet? Why haven't you gotten a job?" I guess I feel like he is the one who wants the divorce, not me, so why should I do all the work for it and make it easy for him?

He is still completely involved with the OW. I know, though, from different sources, (including his cell phone text messages that I look at when he leaves it laying around!) that they fight, that he lies to her, and that she has him on a leash. She has his email and myspace passwords, and she texts him CONSTANTLY, even when she knows he is spending time with his kids.

But according to him, he is oh-so-happy, is moving on with his life, and she will be a part of it. I've brought up concerns I have about her, especially if she's going to be around my kids, but he doesn't want to hear anything negative in connection with her, especially since I can't tell him who I'm hearing it from. (It would definitely jeapordize this person's job.) He tells me I am just a liar.

Okay, have to take oldest to school now. Will finish and finally get to my questions when I get back!