Losing it: narcissistic mother ruins my DBing

[Jeanette1120]

Wow...I'm surprised nobody has tackled this issue yet! I guess it's because it's usually our Mother In Laws are the narcissistic ones!

Larger than Life Ego, pretending to have deep feelings but actually incapable of love, impossible to please, always suffering from
real or imaginary ilnesses and making you responsible for their well-being,
demanding your full and undivided attention all the time.

OMG! If I didn't think Rich would shoot me on the spot I would send him this. You've described her SPOT ON!

I guess the only way I will be of any help to you is to apply the same tactics I would if Rich would have just tried to see things in a different life.

Sounds like your mother is not wanting you and yours to be happy as she is miserable. Misery loves company.

I would try and get your H away from you NM!! QUICKLY. She's done alot of damage already to your marraige.

Start DB'ing YOUR MOTHER......then start assuring your H that he is the strength in the family, not your mother. Assure him that your not going to let your NM involved in your life until she can understand the damage she does! Be consistent with both of them.

From your NM constant complaining she's depleting his self-esteem at being a good husband/father. She has drug him down, along with her. I'm sure there are other factors going through his head but from your post your NM seems to be at the top of the list. If you can apply the DB'ing principles to your NM it would be a GREAT START!

Mothers love us, and think they are doing the best for us at times when actually they are doing more harm than good.

GOOD LUCK!

Jeanette