I agree you're getting some pretty good advice. You've got Bomb, who is a little further on than you. You have Drew who is a lot further on than you. You've got Bill/Bworl who's advice is amazing and is coming from a very good place emotionally and mentally. Me, well I think my advice is good, I mean...what? I'm going to post bad advice knowingly? heh.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
I have gotten some great advice and I appreciate it more than I can say.
I know I am a long way from where I need to be but I just keep trying to take the right steps. I am learning to grieve and to let my emotions out in private, it helps so much. I still become emotional when I talk with w, but I am trying to deal that.
For instance, last night I had a really bad run, came back with blood all over my clothes, depressed and just needed (I thought) to talk, and all I got out of her was anger. So I learned from that, today I was feeling kinda low and thought about calling her and I came on here, read and posted and that feeling passed.
So I take small steps and keep learning. I have some great teachers.
Had to go by the house and pick something up, my bed.. I went when w wasn't there and I held it together the whole time I was in the house, haven't done that before, usually lose it and start to get emotional the minute I walk in the back door.
But I handled it, kept repeating to myself to be strong... And I did.
If you need to talk, don't go to her. Go to a friend, counselor, this board...anywhere but her. She's swallowed up in her own emotional hurricane and she just can't deal with anyone else's needs.
I think you're doing great. Put enough of those baby steps together and...viola!...you're in a better place.
Me: 51 W: 50 M 24 yrs EA: since Apr 06 S22, S26, S28 ILYBNILWY:Nov 07
"It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything." Tyler Durden
Thanks bomb, Yea I need to do that, had another rough one last night, guess this is the week for it, but I didn't call her I just came on here and kept busy and it passed.
But I did get an interesting call last night from om's wife. She called and talked to me for awhile, I told her about db site and said she should spend some time on it. It felt very strange not sure I will do that much more.
Not sure what to say about the OM's wife. What did you talk about? My hunch is that you need to be careful here. If your wife senses that you're both ganging up on her, it could make things worse. Just a hunch.
Bomb
Me: 51 W: 50 M 24 yrs EA: since Apr 06 S22, S26, S28 ILYBNILWY:Nov 07
"It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything." Tyler Durden
I actually stopped reading self help books. I started doing instead.
Not to sound 'superior' or anything here. I can read until the cows come home, but I get more validation of myself through myself and those I respect...as well as my boys, even when I upset them for being 'Dad'.
If that makes sense.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
You got me in the movie quotes earlier, Jack. So now you're going to have to live with this one:
Originally Posted By: Dick Tracy
Dick Tracy: Is the enemy of my enemy my friend, or is the enemy of my friend my enemy? Pat Patton: Tracy, what'd you say? Dick Tracy: Or enemy of my enemy my enemy? Pat Patton: What'd he say? Dick Tracy: The enemy of my enemy is my enemy. Sam Catchem: He said the enemy of his enemy is his enemy. Pat Patton: Oh.
And, I agree with you. At some point you have to stop reading and studying and start doing.
"I made the wall of shadow draw back, beyond desire and act, I walked on.
Oh flesh, my own flesh, woman whom I loved and lost, I summon you in the moist hour, I raise my song to you."
