The way you have gone about this dialog with me shows not only your heart and integrity but the capacity of your relationship skills. This was evident in your posts even before your dialog with me.
This heart and integrity combined with skills is why I say you are a great man.
A great man is a wonderful thing.
When my ex and I divorced, he pretty much bowed out of my kids lives in bitterness, anger, and some mental illness. They needed a great man in their lives....a father figure. They basically haven't had it. I've known some great men....some their uncles are pretty great (exH brothers--big family)...but they aren't here, and aren't their dad.
Treasure the gift of who you are.....and give fearlessly. You are needed.
Thank you, I needed to hear that right now. It seems so opposite of how I've felt for years but I'm starting to think that maybe part of how I've felt is due to my W 'needing my strength' so much and when it wasn't there, she eventually betrayed me.
Now. I'm dealing with an EA and her strange 'need to go away for the day/night' stuff. What's hard? Her OM coincidentally is 'out of the office till tomorrow'.
How do I not believe that something is going on there? Well, whether or not it is will it change anything for me? I have a hard time letting go as it is.
Our friend 'T' says she would just be shocked if it went beyond the flirty friendship or whatever it is. She says she has know OM and his W and that there is real love there. His W is the opposite of mine. Strong, supportive, independent. 'T' said again to me that I shouldn't hang on, that I can't fix this. In her experience with others she knows she's seen this kind of thing and has W pegged as a 'quitter' who WILL leave this time. Says that I need to just let her go and rebuild myself so I can be a strong dad for the girls.
Still, all the energy I put into worrying is wasted because I can't fix this, and she IS in an affair. Whether EA or PA it's still an affair.
She's home now, and is kind of aloof but friendly. Not really talking about her trip but not 'out there' either. Kind of calm, actually a little 'blah'.
