Yes, that's the first question. And your answers are typical. I am guessing, because I only know our answers, but I think most of the men were totally absorbed in their work. And most of the women were worried. And the point is to contrast that to how you feel later when all is revealed at Retrouvaille, and you have gone through the experience. So you only did the first half of that question.
My husband also had trouble the first night. He claimed to be put into a bad state by the fact that we were in a monastery and there was a priest in the room, and all of that brought back the bad feelings of his Catholic schooling. He didn't answer the question the first night at all. When we were supposed to be exchanging the notebooks, he went for a walk. Then he finally answered the question the next morning when he was feeling calmer. I refused to let him leave. But I knew he was fingering those car keys in his pocket. I was afraid I would have to hitch a ride home.
You obviously have strong visceral reactions to things. In a way that is good, because you know what upsets you and deal with it, instead of stuffing your feelings like a lot of other people would. But as I said earlier, strong negative feelings are not bad -- apathy is bad. And the goodbye letter is not bad either. Many people on this board talk about ending their old marriages. Accepting the death of the old marriage, and starting a new relationship with the same person. It can be done. And it is probably an idea that would work well for you and your husband.
This is a hard road, and you have to do it at your own speed. I'm sure Retrouvaille would welcome you back when you feel that you are ready.
