Dang man, you've gotten some good advice already, and it seems like it's helping you alot. Keep listening, and keep fitting what you're hearing to who YOU are and how YOUR situation works.
Valentine's day...
Didn't they drop that holiday? I was thinking it was sometime right after...oh yeah, the day I received my bomb!
So look my friend, I'm pretty sure the holiday has been dropped for the forseable future, so I'm thinking you're free and clear on this one. Nothing to figure out and more importantly nothing to worry about.
Got the message?
I knew that you would.
Most of what I'm about to say, you've probably already either been told or gathered on your own, but a little reinforcement couldn't hurt.
This is NOT about you. It's about HER. You CANNOT positively impact her journey through this thing called MLC - and that's MY opinion, not scientific fact. But you CAN negatively impact it, and big time if you're not careful. Leave her be. Minimize interactions. When you do have to have them, make them as positive as possible and as brief as possible.
Don't get a life to impress her. Get a life because if you DON'T do it for YOU, you're going to go nuts during this mess. Trust me, she won't be impressed anyway.
I like to think of it this way. Right now, in her mind, you're a loser who made her unhappy. Not true, we all know that, but that's what she's convinced herself to enable her to head off in this radical direction. The good news? Somewhere inside of her still reside all those positive memories, all the good things about you and about the two of you together. If sanity every returns to her mind, even if just in the quiet of the night, there's a chance those TRUE memories will flash back. Most importantly, they are NOT gone for good, despite what she might say.
Jack's been slowly and patiently trying to prepare you for the other man issue. Not trying to bring you down, but everything you're hearing so far seems to be pretty clear that it's probably already in place, it just hasn't gotten out completely yet. YOU NEED TO PREPARE to deal with it internally.
It's the worst in my opinion. Particularly if your wife was previously faithful in every regard. It's crushing to know that this woman who has always only been with you, is now willing to give herself to another. But you've got to come to terms with it. Grieve, get angry (just don't act it out), get depressed, let it all happen and slowly but surely deal with it. In time you will know what your ultimate response is to that revelation. In time. Don't even try to decide now.
You're doing well Fyre. Mostly in that you truly seem to be trying hard to listen to good advice and incorporate into how you handle yourself. Keep it up.
Finally, take care of yourself. Seriously. Physically, emotionally, spiritually, anyway you can think of. Feed yourself in ALL these areas and keep up your strength in ALL these areas. This MLC is a bitch and it will wear you out in a hurry.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
