Piecing? Sexual issues? hmm...not sure

[ann25]

LOL... too funny. Doesn't sound much like you guys have a SSM problem.

mom of 2- FWIW - I didn't really have feelings of missing OM afterwards, but it took me a while to get back feelings for H. My A ended just over 5 months ago and I'm just now starting to get into it like i should be. i did a whole lot of the fake it til you make it thing. Also - I didn't have sex on my wedding night... seems like that happens alot.

I think for me, it was hard to see that i didn't want my H, but didn't know how to fix it. I could see a good looking guy and appreciate that, but for some reason, i couldn't find that in my own H.

The easiest way for me to kill the feelings for OM was to realize that any man that wanted me while I was still M and accepted that, probably wasn't an amazing choice for me. Also, every time thoughts of him crossed my mind or i was reminded of him by something, i'd immediately try to think of something else, some wonderful thing I have with H, something that only H can/has given me or change the song/radio station, channel, whatever if that triggered it.

I literally made a concious decision to do as i would do if i were in love and felt that desire for H. Something that helped (though i didn't think I would be able to when i first read it) was something Corri said to me in my own thread here...

Attraction... is... I'm sorry... created. In MY mind. I can smell the pheremones, just like anyone else. But just because I could fck you... doesn't mean I can't... create it, when it is called for. The person with whom you are married, at one time, stopped you short. You can find that again. You just have to look for it. In the crook of their arm... the swell of their bossom... the small of their back... the chisel in the jaw... their eyes... their smell... find it.

seriously, find it... there is something about that wonderful man that kept you around all that time. Something that only he has and something, whether you realize it or not, that can keep you wanting more.

Hopeforfuture - i think it's awesome that you have gone through this and are here still fighting for your M.

I wish the very very best to both of you.