Divorcebusting.com  |  Contact      
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 9 of 11 1 2 7 8 9 10 11
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 518
B
Member
OP Offline
Member
B
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 518
I know that it's hard for her. I know that she has an emotional attachment to him and that will take time to work through. She's made the commitment to me, so I need to give her the space she still needs. I guess that it was a momentary lapse in reasoning. I let my emotions take control and while I didn't say anything hurtful, I did push where I shouldn't have.

I just have to let it slide right off my back and learn from my mistakes...


Me: 29
W: 28
T: 10
M: 7
No kids
2 Dogs and 1 Cat
With Parents: 09/16/07
Apartment: 10/13/07
Back Home: ~2/16/2008

Current Thread
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 10,261
K
Member
Offline
Member
K
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 10,261
Hi B,

This is what I posted on gforce's thread. The first part is exactly what I would tell you also. Here it goes :

"The other guy has the problem now. You turned it around!! I know it must be very hard to accept her contacting him, but you need to let her finish up business with him. And while she does that, I would suggest to show her daily -you know the way- that nobody can compare to you. And I mean that. NOBODY as far as she is concerned. Don't underestimate what you've managed so far. "

XXX
Kalni


Me&H:42
S11&D10
Bomb 5/2007-Sep 11/2007
Reconc.November 2009
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 518
B
Member
OP Offline
Member
B
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 518
That's great advice. Thanks Kalni. I hadn't really thought of it like that.

Peace,
B


Me: 29
W: 28
T: 10
M: 7
No kids
2 Dogs and 1 Cat
With Parents: 09/16/07
Apartment: 10/13/07
Back Home: ~2/16/2008

Current Thread
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 10,261
K
Member
Offline
Member
K
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 10,261
B,
I am glad I helped!! Go on now, go meet Lan, he is lonely over at "piecing"...
Kalni


Me&H:42
S11&D10
Bomb 5/2007-Sep 11/2007
Reconc.November 2009
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 518
B
Member
OP Offline
Member
B
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 518
Quote:
Go on now, go meet Lan, he is lonely over at "piecing"...
I'd love to, but I don't think that I'm there yet. She's still floundering some but seems to be close to committing for good.

She called me up last night and invited me out. It was the first time that I got to meet some of her new friends. I had a great time and felt like I was pretty outgoing all night (this was a complaint of hers about me). She called me when she got home. I don't really remember what we talked about, but I do remember her telling me that she loved me. She also sent me a text message that said "I love you" this morning.

However, she turned down my offer to make her dinner tonight. She sent me an email this morning saying that she's having a hard time with things. She feels like she's going crazy in her heart and her mind. She says that she's worried about the issues in her life. She also says that she loves me and thanked me for sticking around. She said that she's tired and will probably just stay home tonight, take a bath, think and cry. So we'll see what the day brings...


Me: 29
W: 28
T: 10
M: 7
No kids
2 Dogs and 1 Cat
With Parents: 09/16/07
Apartment: 10/13/07
Back Home: ~2/16/2008

Current Thread
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 844
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 844
Hey B,
If she / was indeedin some kind of life crisis, she could be depressed right now.
Has she been to counselling? Is she willing to go to counselling together?
Hang in there!
J~


M 35
H 29
M 4 yrs T 9 yrs
D 3
S born 10/19/07
Bomb 09/10/07 Separated next day
OW - broke up and H moved out 09/07/08
Status - still figuring this out
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 313
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 313
Wow B, a lot has been happening.

Congrats on being so close...but just remember you aren't there yet, and there will still be the ups and downs like this latest OM little thing. Coming back is probably the hardest thing for a walk-away to do so her emotional ups and downs are expected. Just keep doing what got you here.


Me: 43 W: 41
Together 2009, Married 2011
Sons 10 and 6, Daughter 5
Bomb 2/21/21. W moved out 10/2021
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 10,261
K
Member
Offline
Member
K
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 10,261
Hey B,

where are you? Do you have another thread somewhere?

Let us know what's going on?

Kalni


Me&H:42
S11&D10
Bomb 5/2007-Sep 11/2007
Reconc.November 2009
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 518
B
Member
OP Offline
Member
B
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 518
Hi Kalni. Thanks for checking in. I don't have another thread. I just wasn't at my computer much this weekend.

Things have been going great. She canceled with me for lunch on Thursday since she was with her boss, but ended up inviting me up to her place that night. We hung out all night and then I stayed over. It was just a real nice relaxing evening. She had a pretty bad headache, so we just sat around quietly with each other. It felt great to hold her all night.

I didn't see her Friday night, but we did talk quite a bit. I ended up hanging out with my neighbors for most of the night and that was a blast.

At some point she truly committed to coming back home. She said that she's going to start moving her stuff back and that she's going to try to get out of her place by the end of the month. \:\) So we talked throughout the day on Saturday and she said that she was going to be coming down to spend the night and bring her some of her stuff. It was fun to welcome her back into the house and spread her stuff back through out it. It made my heart smile. \:\) We hung out with some friends that night and had a good time. Sunday was a pretty relaxing day. We went out and did a little shopping since today is MILs birthday, but other than that we just spent the day enjoying each others company.

She tried to talk to OM on Saturday before she came down. He stopped over to her place as she was packing stuff up, but I guess he's quite oblivious to his surroundings since he didn't take notice that she was obviously packing up her belongings. Before she could say anything, he told her that he just found out that his dad has cancer. He was pretty shook up about it, so she couldn't bring herself to tell him, which I understand. I think that she's going to do it tonight though if she can find time either before or after seeing her mom for her birthday. We'll see what happens, but she knows it's got to be done.

We know that we have to take things slow. We haven't talked about counseling yet, but I plan on bringing it up. We both want this to last and not to go through this again. She apologized last night for putting me through this. She said that she's very grateful for me and that she loves me. She also wrote my mother a very nice email. It hasn't been an easy road, but she's finding her way back home.

May you all find peace and love in your life,
B


Me: 29
W: 28
T: 10
M: 7
No kids
2 Dogs and 1 Cat
With Parents: 09/16/07
Apartment: 10/13/07
Back Home: ~2/16/2008

Current Thread
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 10,261
K
Member
Offline
Member
K
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 10,261
B,

I am so glad, so happy for you. This is how things should be. I wish you from the bottom of my heart that this new marriage will be all you hoped for, because you deserve it my friend.
I can't imagine how you felt with her bringing her things back to your home...
They say that a couple appreciates love most after they thought it was all lost. Do what yo can to protect you love from mistakes and attitudes of the past... You are both much wiser now.

Take care of her and you,

L
Kalni


Me&H:42
S11&D10
Bomb 5/2007-Sep 11/2007
Reconc.November 2009
Page 9 of 11 1 2 7 8 9 10 11

Moderated by  Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Michele Weiner-Davis Training Corp. 1996-2025. All rights reserved.
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5