I have been doing most of the staff on my list of goals. I have being really really quiet. He has been calling the last couple of days but is backing off. I said so before, I think he is wondering but I definetely can't see him worrying he is loosing me. I believe he will pretty soon adapt to the new communication rules I set. Just the way he is...
Today he had the day off so we arranged that he could spend the afternoon with the kids. I asked him to stay longer because I had planned to see my girlfriend from Paris (I didn't tell him why, I just said I would appreciate it if he would stay with them until 20:00-21:00). He agreed, so later when my girlfriend cancelled I had to stay at work longer so that I wouldn't look as if I cancelled it for him. He was at our home, watching TV, he had bought my S shoes which I asked him to, only he bought 3 pairs!!!. I told him there all great (they were) and was upbeat and distant friendly. After 30 minutes he left. When I came in the office, I saw he used my PC. I got really upset because I keep my diary in here and I am wondering what he saw or read. Even my mail account. Thankfully there wasn't much here that would make me look bad, just desperate and needy, and lonely and etc. etc.(yeah, I know it sucks!). I am wondering if his reaction to mine means I am doing the wrong thing. I don't know. I'll continue for the time being. Tommorow is Vday as you all know. I have no problem, but I can't help thinking whether he will be celebrating it with someone or not... I would definitely do something ballsy if I wasn't going dark/grey on him. But, no... I am buying myself flowers, I know that...
T, I can't be Penelope, if I were her I would probably had given up a long before my beloved came home (20 years!!)
Seekpeaceofmind, you are right. The dinstiction between doing things for me and the kids and for him to notice is fine and difficult. I figured one way or the other I will be busy and get out of the state I were 3 days ago...
Ali, yes I'll be 37 on March 3rd and I would love to have a party for my Bday. When is yours?
