I've been reading your posts but I felt there wasn't much I could offer. I am really sorry for what you are going through.
GO and try to take the kids with you. Plan it the way you want it and do it. Kids change their minds often. Maybe your S is torn because he doesn't want to leave him mom behind but I bet you he would love to go, have you thought of that? It's so stupid that we make our kids feel this way. Maybe you should try to talk to him?
