I think I need some advice on boundaries. Any one good at this?
As of a few days ago (as I mentioned) I have a GF that seems to find it necessary to tell me her version of who I am and what I did wrong in my marriage. I didn't ask for this.
When I try to respond with I understand, but don't agree. She keeps going. She is convinced that her observations are right. Well, that doesn't bother me, they are hers. What gets me is this need (?) on her part to convince me she is right and I am not. That somehow she knows more about me and my marriage than I do.
At first I tried to say, well I don't agree.. this is how I see it. Then, thanks for your support, but blaming me or telling me the same things as my H is not helpful and hurts me as I know he is lying about a lot of this stuff. In the end, I took the time to tell her what I thought to be the truth as I thought as a friend she would like to hear the facts.
Well, she is stuck in her view, I am controlling him and he left me because of it. The fact that my H feels controlled by the world and everyone in it doesn't seem to matter. (He felt that way about this friend also..maybe I should have told her).
Anyway, some good advice on how to not get pulled into self defense mode would be great.
