As a recent follow up. I have discussed very peacefully with my wife some of the reason that she is unhappy with me and that may have lead to the affair. And after some intensive soul searching I have to agree with her comments. She cited that I was working to much (50 hours plus every week for the last 2.5 years) and not standing up to my employers. She is right that I was working to much, but my reasoning had been to impress my employers and eventually receive a raise for hard work. I have come to learn that hard work doesn't pay off and I was sacrificing my family time for an illusion. On this topic I have already decided to cut down my work hours if only to spend more time with my kids because I am enjoying spending time with them. This action is something I am doing for myself and not to make her happy. She cited poor communication and I have known that I have a problem in this department. It is something I am working on not just for my family, but also for my profession as good communications skills are a must. She wants me to be happier around the house. She is right that I have been glum around the house and I think there is a direct correlation between work and my happiness. I sacrificed a lot of my time working and stopped doing things that I enjoy including hobbies and working out. Since I have started working out, I feel much better about myself and have a lot more energy and generally feel happy. So it was a very positive conversation since she identified problem areas that I need to work on. Or lets say stop being at work all the time and start being at home more often. I don't know if these changes will save our relationship, but they are changes that I want to make for myself with the end goal to make myself better. I am very sorry that it took this situation for me to realize that I had some serious priority issues and I hope to realign my priorities around my family again and not around my illusionary view of work.
