I don't know if you are still out there, but I think I could use some advice from you. I've been following your situation since December as a 'lurker' and after reading your history, I think we're a lot a alike personality wise.
I'm 33, my wife is 31. We have been married for 8 years. We have a 4 year old son. Our marriage has been good and I really don't have any complaints other than sex is not as often as I would like. It could be better, but it's often enough and good enough that I would not consider myself starved.
I recently had a short affair with an old ex-girlfriend. It started in much the same way that your ONS started - in a bar - watching a game - approached by OW. Difference being that I knew OW. My wife was out of town and one thing led to another. OW and myself both parted ways, agreeing that what we did was a mistake and that it was over - No other contact with her since and no intentions of it.
My wife does not know and I have been debating on telling her or not. I admire you for bringing your ONS out to Miss IC in order for your marriage to grow, even if it did risk you losing her. I kind of have the same feeling, I'm just not sure I have the ballz to pull it off like you have. I would appreciate any advice you can lend, or if anyone knows if IC is still around on here - I'd really like to hear from him.
Thanks
"He doesn't know the meaning of the word 'fear' but then again, he doesn't know the meaning of most words - Bobby Bowden
The only reason to tell your spouse about a fling is to hurt your spouse. If you want to clear your consious, go to God. But telling a spouse will ALWAYS hurt them.
I don't know if you are still out there, but I think I could use some advice from you. I've been following your situation since December as a 'lurker' and after reading your history, I think we're a lot a alike personality wise.
Sorry to hear about your character flaws.
Originally Posted By: Noles Fan
I'm 33, my wife is 31. We have been married for 8 years. We have a 4 year old son. Our marriage has been good and I really don't have any complaints other than sex is not as often as I would like. It could be better, but it's often enough and good enough that I would not consider myself starved.
I'm not justifying an affair, but if things are so good then why?
Originally Posted By: Noles Fan
My wife does not know and I have been debating on telling her or not. I admire you for bringing your ONS out to Miss IC in order for your marriage to grow, even if it did risk you losing her. I kind of have the same feeling, I'm just not sure I have the ballz to pull it off like you have. I would appreciate any advice you can lend.
Let me clear something up for ya...I didn't "pull" anything off, I was given the gift of a second chance. I'm sure the board will give you plenty of advice on whether or not to tell your wife...I'm not going to. If you do decide to tell her and IF you are given the gift of a second chance and want advice on how to respect that gift then look me up.
Why are you seeking advice from IC? IC has shown me on here just what a pathetic excuse for a man he really is. And your seeking advice from him??? Let me point out a few things that this loser has done:
1. Cheated on his wife after having this same thing done to him by his ex-wife. (who can blame his ex for divorcing him!!)
2. Withheld telling his wife of his cancer until the last possible moment. (what else is he withholding from her?)
3. Decided to tell his wife of his affair the week of Christmas!!! (Nice way to ruin the holidays IC)
Noles, Is this the path that you want to follow?
IC, I'm glad you didn't give Noles advice or anybody else for that matter. You're pathetic and if Miss IC had any sense, she would dump you on your sorry a$$.
IC and Mrs IC are great people and for you to make such an unwarranted attack is just pure malice. Shame on you.
BTW - the fact that that is down as your first post and yet you think you know IC makes me think you are too yellow to put your real name to your post.
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
I've had the fortune of talking with both Miss IC and IC. You are WAY out of line attacking his character. These are two of the most pleasant and caring people you will EVER find. Yes IC has made some mistakes - errors in judgement. To some degree, haven't we all? What separates us is our ability to learn from past regressions and IC has shown an outstanding ability to do just that.
So Jersey man, go crawl back under the rock you came from.
I would also like to say that there are some people on here who seen to be able to avoid seeing there own flaws. I have nothing but respect for IC in all that he has said and revealed. He is a way bigger person than you will ever be New Jersey and I am just SO pleased that Mrs IC knows that.
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
I hope that you are never called upon to look a serious illness in the face but if you are I hope you will be able to do it with half the grace, strength, humor and kindness to others that IC has shown. You have no right to make any pronouncements on his character. The only person who has that right is MissIC, and if she choses to give him a second chance that is her call and her call alone. I personally think they are both great people and hope for a bright future for both of them.
I'm sorry that I've rubbed you or anybody else the wrong way. Noles is on here seeking advice for a very serious situation in his life and I would like to leave his thread open to just that. If you want to turn this into a personal attack on my character, that's fine, but please do so on a separate thread and I'll be glad to stop by.
