wow, B hopeful is SO good at validating!! How did you learn how to do that?? Can you give us some pointers? Or point us to pointers you found?
Well first off, it's pretty easy to validate when things seem to start going your way. This is a very thought provoking question though. I don't really feel like I'm validating when I talk to her. It just kind of comes naturally I guess. When I really think about it though, I think here is what I do. I try to set my wants and desires aside as I listen to her. They only get in the way when I'm trying to really hear what she's trying to say. That's not to say that they don't matter, but when I switch into listening mode I have to switch out of my needs mode.
Think of your very best friend. The one that you can tell anything in the world to and they won't judge you. They accept you for you and don't have any agenda of their own. This is who I try to be for her. I don't always make it there. An example, I couldn't tell her to go into the Peace Corps. That was for my own selfish reasons and not because I didn't think that she should really go. So, it's not always easy to put yourself aside and love unconditionally.
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Hooray for your reconciliation!!!
She's not home yet, but it sure seems like she's committed. She spent the night again last night. She started out sleeping on the couch, but ended up snuggling in bed with me after a couple hours. It made for a very nice night.
Me: 29 W: 28 T: 10 M: 7 No kids 2 Dogs and 1 Cat With Parents: 09/16/07 Apartment: 10/13/07 Back Home: ~2/16/2008
