***************He may not know what to do with you, but he knows he'll never find anyone better than you.***********


COG you as usual have brought me to tears.. thank you for the beautiful words.
You all are so amazing and so supportive. I love this place!!!

Well I am sure you all know that my H is is Mexico and he will be home in March just like last year. THE DIFFERENCE????

This year I dare say he is actually doing some work and by that I mean soul searching.........

I havent had time to update but two days ago he talked to me in the morning and said to me.. " GUESS WHAT?" IN A REALLY HAPPY VOICE.
And I said .. " I dunno what?"
He then says to me ..." I am wearing my ring again."

I wanted to cry right away but instead I said " YYYYYYYYYAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYHHHHHHHHH!"
and he replied "yeah, you ******."

( it is kind of an inside joke but he says this swear word to me and EVEN IN THE WAY HE SAID IT,,,, it says alot to me, he is basically saying " YOU GOT ME, I SURRENDER, I AM YOURS AND I LOVE YOU TO DEATH..." \:D )

After he said that the tears came.... I said ..."now look what youve done I am going to cry........ I love you too and that is so awesome. I love you so much."

And even in the past weeks when I say those 3 scary words ILY he 90% of the time says ILY2 baby...

I think that is why I was feeling uncomfortable a while back he was retreating some to find him and I had to resist the urge to hold on tight and instead let go...... uncomfortable as H*ll and scary to tell the truth. I felt sad , but the outcome is unbelievable. I had not even mentioned it anymore and as a matter of fact I had not been wearing my ring for a long time too. He said Awhile back to our D9 when she asked "WHY DONT YOU WEAR YOUR RING DAD????????????????"
that he did not need to wear it to prove he loved Me,, and she disagreed with him.......

I will post more later... Just wanted to say thanx ;\) for the posts you all; they do mean the world to me and keep me going... yes it is going to take time to get thru this. And even thru all my pain... This IS GOING TO BE THE BEST D*MN M , I CAN MAKE IT AND BEST OF ALL WIN OR LOSE , YES I WILL KEEP WORKING ON BEING THE BEST D*MN ME THERE IS ,,,

I like posting what I really feel deep down and keeping it here so I can see my growth and not forget how important this is for me..... for ME and my M.

LIKE someone once told me save yourself and if you save your M IN THE process now that is just the icing on the cake.
God bless, ALI